Weird Shit You Googled to Get to Our Blog

Okay, guys. We’re glad that you found our special little corner of the internet. Like, it’s great. We’re glad that you’re here. But some of you Googled some pretty goddamn bizarre shit to get to us, from ‘LOL wut?’ to ‘WHAT THE FUCK!?’. Perhaps we shouldn’t judge too harshly, with our own lurid history with the Google search engine, and, to be fair, some of these searches are quotes from Minds Melding... but let’s get real, we’re judging the fuck outta you. We hope you enjoy a secret look into the life of our people and your peers.

“bad behavior of queen's corgis”

So. Naughty.

“fertility vase of the ndebele tribe”

“libertarians being called domestic terrorists”

“is stannis a hero” (The answer is no.)

“stannis submissive in bed”

Probably not.

“did joffrey baratheon feel guilt?” (The answer is also no.)

“still sleeping with his wife” (Who?? Mysteries abound.)

“daenerys targaryen boobs gif”

“daenerys boobs all”

“daenerys second sons naked”

“game of thrones dragon queen titts”

“daenerys targaryen tit”

“daenerys targaryen tits gif”

No tits here, guys!

“would stannis ever marry daenerys” (hmm...again no.)

“motherfuckings joffrey baratheon”

“joffrey needs his ass kicked”

“robb stark puppy” (awwwwww *sniffle*)

“joan mad men iron throne”

Can you imagine?

“some elderly negro woman”

“bob benson ‘are you a homo?’”

"ted's infatuation"

“did betty draper really gain weight?”

Do you mean January Jones? Ha, please!

"much older woman"

We close with the largest source of hits from Google searches to our blog:

“trust no one”

Daenerys Targaryen: The Dragon Queen

We have come to the end of our series of debates on the potential kings and queen of Westeros, finishing with Daenerys Targaryen, First of Her Name, Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lord(?) of the Seven Kingdoms, Protector of the Realm, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, called Daenerys Stormborn, The Unburnt, Mother of Dragons, Breaker of Shackles (You can tell Paul’s heart is really in this one).  Without further ado, let the arguments commence!

For:

We saved the best for last, folks.  My heart really is in this one, but why the fuck shouldn’t it be?  Daenerys is a much-loved character, and with good reason.  To hate Dany would be akin to hating Peggy Olson on Mad Men.  She doesn’t have to be your favorite character (he says begrudgingly), but if you abhor her, you’re doing it wrong.  While the series has no “main character” she serves as its heart and soul.  Daenerys is not simply an interesting, dynamic, and relatable character, she also makes the best ruler of Westeros, among all current contenders.

Daenerys is the last confirmed Targaryen, the house that is responsible for the unification of Westeros and for ruling that kingdom for almost 300 years.  Westeros belongs to them.  Without the actions of the Targaryens, the lands would have remained seven separate kingdoms.  Robert’s Rebellion and subsequent stint as a subpar king have not erased the powerful dynasty of the Targaryens, especially when there remains a living heir, a living heir with not one, not two, but THREE GODDAMN DRAGONS.

Dragons may have been absent from the world for the last few centuries, but those fire-breathing, flying motherfuckers are back, y’all.  They are the “children” of Daenerys and although they are still relatively small, at least in comparison to some of the skeletons in King’s Landing, they have proven themselves to be quite capable at burning down warlocks and slavers, without breaking a sweat.  Aegon, Rhaenys, and Visenya swooped down on the Westerosi kingdoms on the backs of their dragons, where they swiftly conquered and united the realm, and as soon as Drogon, Viserion, and Rhaegal are grown, Daenerys should have no problem following in her ancestors’ footsteps.  Combine that with her loyal army of Unsullied and devoted followers of freed slaves and members of her khalasar, and our Silver Queen is as unstoppable as the urge to roll my eyes at presumptuous (read: all) children.

The most important thing about Dany, beyond her birthright, power, and legitimate cause for vengeance, is that she actually is a spectacular queen.  At the start of the series, Daenerys is girl with very little agency, a puppet of her brother and Illyrio Mopatis.  As the series continues, the audience gets to watch Daenerys discover herself and the world around her and take hold of the reigns and refuse to let go.  Daenerys excels at the game of thrones, quickly mastering the arts of playing coy, concealing her hand, and delivering swift strikes to her foes.  While she may often state that she is “but a young girl, [who] knows little” of  various activities, both she and the audience know better.  Daenerys may be getting further and further away from Westeros, but she is amassing an army and dealing hard justice to terrible people committing atrocities.  

At the end of the day, there is one crucial aspect of Dany’s personality that sets apart from her contenders and is what truly makes her the finest ruler.  Daenerys, Mysha to all, is the only potential monarch who is more concerned about the well-being of people, both her own and the downtrodden innocents she encounters, than what throne she sits upon.

-Paul

Against:

Oh Daenerys...you have a lot of titles for someone who actually has a total of three dragons and a bunch of vagrants to her name. I will readily admit that Daenerys is one of the least morally bankrupt contenders for the Iron Throne, and that I like her. She has real leadership skills, she learns from her mistakes, she’s a dragon whisperer, and she’s got great tits. Hooray! As much as everyone wants to make one million gifs of Daenerys being a badass with her sassy lines and her unexpected language skills and paste them all over Tumblr, popular vote here in Reality Land is not the way elections work in Westeros.

Obviously.

Sniff.

If George R.R. Martin were writing happy plots for everyone we liked, he wouldn’t have fucking beheaded Ned Stark in the first goddamn book, etc. So now I’m tasked with explaining to you why fantastic clothes and likeability do not a queen make (That’s why we’re suffering through Cersei and Margaery’s boring bullshit and fairly heinous clothes). I think Daenerys would have been a great partner to Khal Drogo, awesome mother, and then graceful retiree to the Dothraki Council of Women Who Outlive Their Husbands. She’s adaptable, sure. Been workin’ it and makin’ it work in the plains and in the desert, amirite?

But. BUT. In order to conquer Westeros you need allies. In order to rule Westeros, you need more than just a few allies. She is just not tapped into the hellish network of plotting and politics, and most of them barely know she is alive. Yes, dragons will be helpful from a military standpoint (also for wow factor and lighting fireworks/cannons/etc.), but they terrify most of Dany’s loyal followers, will a nation of strangers want to be ruled by them? Nope. She can’t control them as it is, and they’re only getting bigger. With winter coming, Westeros can’t handle worst case scenario, widespread burning of fields, and best case scenario, feeding those things for years on end. Not to mention, having three dragons to reunite the Seven Kingdoms in fear also require THREE riders. So far, we have one. ONE. And she hasn’t even done it yet.

Speaking of dragons, Dany comes from a long line of them, and let me remind you, they were BATSHIT FUCKING INSANE. The people of Westeros think “Mad King” when they hear Targaryen, and Daenerys hasn’t exactly always done things that others would consider well thought out or reasonable. I have a very, very difficult time imagining that “her” people would accept her, when they have no reason to believe that she’s any different. Perhaps worse, with dragons to do her burning alive for her. They will fear her, and her dragons. Will they follow another Targaryen? Especially after they’ve been plotting amongst themselves for years, trying to make calculations and jockey for position with whichever House they believe poised to lead. They have no good reason to accept someone who is, at best, an outsider and an unknown quantity.

Sure, people love you when you save them from slavery or rape, sometimes. But will the people of Westeros love her for disrupting their perfectly normal lives with flames from the sky? And it’s not as though Dany’s good intentions have been all that helpful...in fact lots of people have been worse off as a result of her mothering.

Give it up girl! Pick a nice warm city, rule it, and eat bon bons on your roof porch all day.

-Anya

We hope that you have been enjoying these and that there aren’t any mega Greyjoy fans out there that are offended we excluded Balon from the list (lolz).  We can safely say this will not be the last time A Song of Ice and Fire / Game of Thrones is featured on our blog, so check back for more thought-provoking Westeros-based articles in the future, or, at the very least, majestic/arousing/comical gifs.

Robb Stark: The King in the North

We’re still on vacation, hopefully having an incredible time with Soul Sister, hopefully not fighting over our small, shared sleep space.  We return to our weekly arguments on Westerosi monarchs, moving on to the Young Wolf, Robb Stark.  We should probably only present the more serious brooding/smoldering king, but we are unreasonably (it’s not unreasonable!!) attached to those direwolf puppies.

For:

Oh, Robb.  The King in the North is one of the non-POV characters who made quite the positive impression on me.  When listing my favorite characters after the first two books/seasons, Robb was solidly in the top the five.  A Song of Ice and Fire is a massive series, covering many topics and themes, one being the brutality of men and its lasting effects, specifically on youth, with many of the protagonists starting off as children. While some of them are very close to being considered adults in Westeros, none of them were alive or were old enough to remember the last major war in the realm, Robert’s Rebellion (nobody cares about the Greyjoy Rebellion).  The audience gets to experience a variety of reactions to the cruelties of war in these young characters, one of these being Robb Stark.  He makes a terrific king for the very qualities that initially drew me to him, his strength, sense of responsibility, tact, and humanity (which I find the most important and compelling, but may also be the most damning).

Before I unpack that and explain why exactly he deserves to be king, let’s discuss how everybody’s favorite gingery fox got there.  First of all, Robb essentially had to declare himself King in the North.  Joffrey ruined any chance for peace between the Starks and the Lannisters with his actions regarding poor old Ned.  How could Rob or any of his bannerman, swear allegiance to the King who had wrongfully imprisoned and murdered their father and lord?  Maybe that kind of shit flies with the Martells, but that scenario is impossible for any of the balky and just (sans a few unfortunate exceptions) northmen.  Things were moving quickly and it’s hard to form new alliances through back-and-forth raven trips.  Perhaps if Robb and his men had known at the time of Joffrey’s incestuous conception and if Stannis and Renly had created a united front, Robb could have remained Warden in the North and supported their claim, but that was not the case.

Let’s also not forget the important fact that Robb has never lost a battle.  He gains his nickname, the Young Wolf, due to his excellence in the field combined with the presence of his direwolf, Grey Wind (great direworlf or greatest direwolf?).  Presumably, if he were able to keep up that impressive streak, Tywin Lannister would be forced to give in to Robb’s demands at some point, lest he risk losing King’s Landing or Casterly Rock.  It is also worth noting that between the land controlled by Starks and that of his Tully mother, Robb controls northern and central Westeros, including the majority of the Kingsroad which goes from King’s Landing all the way to the Wall.  Certainly nothing to scoff at.

Now, does Robb deserve to be a king?  Gods, yes.  Robb inherited the duty, honor, justice, and stubbornness of his parents, but is generally better at prioritizing and not allowing those qualities to be the sole guiding factors of his actions, like Catelyn and Eddard did.  Despite his young age, Robb quickly steps up to the plate and proves to be one of the better leaders we witness in the series.  Robb tries so hard to balance his competing roles of lord, brother, king, son, and husband, which, of course, leads to a few mistakes.  However, these mistakes turn what could be a static secondary character into a relatable and very human dynamic character, who is forced to grow and learn and adapt very quickly, all in front of a large audience, where the stakes are often life or death.  At the end of the day, Robb owns up to his failures and does his best to rectify them.  Admirable qualities of a great man, who is a great king.

-Paul

Against:

Let me start by saying that it pains me to write anything bad about Robb Stark, because he is the second sexiest member of the Stark family, and by far the king I’d most like to fuck. Not least because he has a goddamn direwolf as a bodyguard, and winning over the heart of that giant shaggy pup would be the greatest achievement of my life as a character in A Song of Ice and Fire. My fantasies aside, I have to argue against Robb because we drafted our sides in these debates, and also because great in the sack does not equal great on the throne. Sadly.

Despite his shexy faux Scottish accent (?) and angelic curls, Robb is not cut out to finish his campaign and rule as King of the North as a secessionist. Those of us educated above the Mason Dixon line have learned time and time again that secession is really never quite as successful as the rosy visions of the revolutionaries would have us believe. This War of Northern Aggression is doomed to fail, and Robb should quit while he’s ahead and jump in bed with Stannis (and by Stannis I mean me!). But really, if he formed an alliance with Stannis and agreed to return as Warden of the North rather than King in exchange for Stannis’s help taking back Winterfell, things would be better for all of us. Believe me.

Granted, Robb is an ideal northman: tough, dutiful, just, carries out the beheadings that he orders, etc. He does his best to live up to his father Ned, and in some ways, comes out ahead (I can’t stop!). If there were to be a King of the North, he’s a great contender. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t seem to be in the cards, since none of the kings left in the race for the Iron Throne would accept a realm split basically in two. We know Stannis is a stickler for fealty and shit, and Joffrey is just too goddamn into revenge and gore to let Robb STARK of all people get away with chipping off a giant piece of his kingdom (even if it is a wasteland of permafrost).

His best bet would be for Joffrey and Stannis to wear each other down so far that the victor wouldn’t have time to try to reconquer the North before winter descends on Westeros, but even that would rely on the new king’s good judgment  and we all know that’s a foolish gamble. Neither Stannis nor Joffrey can afford to lose face in such a big way as letting the North go, especially after they’ve torn down each other’s claims to legitimacy. Neither of them are sufficiently afraid of the coming winter, and they would stretch their precious resources coming after Robb despite famine, poverty, zombies, etc.

In a way, the problem is that Robb was doing too well, and got so far South in an effort to reclaim Ned’s body and stick it to those douchebag Lannisters that he’s now stuck at the river, with his home taken by the worst combination of all the fuckheads in the series: Theon Greyjoy and Ramsay Bolton. Shit is not okay. My knight in shining armor needs to pack it in, leave his wife, get Stannis to chop the balls off of the Boltons, and settle in for a long winter’s night just him, me, and Grey Wind. In that order.

-Anya

UPDATE: We knew what happened to Robb in last night's episode of Game of Thrones, "The Rains of Castamere", as soon as we saw the list of episode titles. Heartbreaking or heart wrenching, right? Even though we knew the Red Wedding was going down, it was like a punch in the gut watching Grey Wind get executed in a goddamn cage. In the book, he and Robb both go down fighting, which is a much more valiant end for that whirlwind of destruction on the battlefield.

ALSO, in the book Jeyne gets away, and when she shows up later as a hostage, there is rampant speculation among readers that it's not *actually* her. We don't know if the theories are bullshit, or if the show producers don't care, or if it's just another question George will let linger as he finishes the books but...that was a pretty fucked up fetal stabbing. Smacks of Downton Abbey, when everyone is really happy, fear death!

Stannis Baratheon: The Truly Just King

We return to our look at the potential rulers of Westeros, shining a light on the eldest and dourest Baratheon, Stannis.  Stannis is no one’s favorite or least favorite contender for the throne, and we’re easily bored, so we decided to spice up this debate with a little more profanity and a bit less in the way of actual points. In the words of Donal Noye, “Stannis is pure iron, black and hard and strong, yes, but brittle, the way iron gets. He’ll break before he bends.” Don’t we know it. So enjoy our take on this crusty old piece of work:

For:

As Stannis himself can’t stop saying, he is the lawful heir to the throne. He feels that it is his duty to take the throne since his brother’s death, despite the fact that he doesn’t seem particularly excited about ruling and nor does anyone else. Be that as it may, he is the oldest Baratheon brother, and since Robert has no legal and legitimate heirs, he’s next in line. Not impressed with the Baratheon claim to the throne? We’re not really either, but if you’re into following the law and such, technically Stannis is your man (and no one loves and respects technicality more than he). I mean he chopped the goddamn Onion Knight’s fingers off after he saved his goddamn life. What a dick. A rock hard dick. I really hope someone googles that phrase and ends up here, what a disappointment that would be for them. Moving on!

Almost as obsessed with duty as Ned, Stannis is definitely a proponent of justice rather than mercy, which might not be such a bad thing with a heavily foreshadowed harsh winter about to descend onto Westeros. Not one of the knights of summer, Stannis isn’t fun or charming, or even a little bit charismatic, but none of those things are really necessary to get a suffering people through a season during which many of them will likely starve to death. He’s definitely not going to be throwing fun parties to arouse the resentment of the peasantry, and you can forget about wenching or splurging. His Master of Coin is going to have it pretty fuckin easy street, and the smallfolk wouldn’t be too jealous seeing his dinner table.

Sure, that makes him pretty boring, but the man is rational to a fault, and he could definitely RATION the shit out of the food that may or may not be left after the war (suck it, I love puns). His wife and daughter aren’t going to win any hearts between them, but apparently Melisandre is quite a looker (if a terrifying bitch from the heart of hell). Hopefully she will stop burning people alive once Stannis is king, although honestly they’re probably going to run out of fuel and it’s not the worst alternative to start burning criminals to heat the castle. I’m not terribly worried about the fact that she’s into the batshit Lord of Light religion, because there are always going to be fanatics and I’m pretty indifferent about which religion they’re focusing their fanaticism on.

At the end of the day, while nobody in their right mind likes Stannis, he’s not the worst option, by far. The dude is stern as fuck, for better or for worse, but mostly for better with these serious snow storms about to settle on the country. My best support for Stannis is basically that of a Jewish mother whose thirty year old son is finally marrying “eh, why  not? Could be worse, we just need to get this deal sealed.” He doesn’t really light a fire under me, ha. ha. ha.

-Anya

Against:

Here’s the thing, I know that we’re dealing with a monarchy here and that the will of the people has little to no value here, but Stannis Baratheon is just about the last person anybody wants to see sit upon the Iron Throne.  Even loose-screw tween Joffrey and his family have more backers than perma-grumpus Stannis.  During the initial War of the Five Kings, Stannis couldn’t even get his own bannerman to back his admittedly lawful claim.  The majority of them (along with the house of his wife and queen) supported the affable Renly.  Of course, Renly’s supporters were later forced to choose between Stannis and Joffrey, after Stannis HAD HIS OWN BROTHER KILLED BY A MOTHERFUCKING SHADOW ASSASSIN BABY (in case you had forgotten that truly horrifying experience).

Stannis has exactly two supporters.  The first being the Red Priestess, Melisandre (whom I’ll get to in a moment) and the second being Davos Seaworth, who is one hundred percent loyal to Stannis and his cause.  This is fueled by his firm belief in Stannis being a completely just man, which I can only attribute to Davos being either a masochistic submissive bottom or a tragic victim of battered person syndrome.  A reminder of the justice of Stannis: Davos smuggles food into Storm’s End while it was under siege during Robert’s Rebellion, arguably saving the lives of Stannis and its other inhabitants.  Stannis thanks him by knighting him... and cutting off the tips of four fingers for his years of work as a smuggler.  

This twisted sense of compensation is a perfect example of one of his most severe and damning attributes: his refusal to accept, acknowledge, or even see the numerous shades of gray between the unforgiving black and white categories of his world.  There is no overlap, negotiations, or compromises for Stannis.  Stannis is always keeping score, but it is on an action by action basis.  You do not have a total points tally, and no amount of good in the present or future can erase the punishment you have coming for your past wrongdoings.  Stannis Baratheon would give you a reward for killing Joffrey, but would then promptly behead for committing regicide.  You know what kind of logic would be completely fucking terrible for ruling the entire realm?  That.

Finally, I shall return to his primary patron, the actual source of the rest of his allies: the Red Menace (not to be confused with the international communist conspiracy [save it for Dating Freedom Lovers]), Melisandre.  Deranged religious zealot Melisandre is convinced that Stannis is the reborn hero Azor Ahai (he’s not) and burning anybody foolish enough to get in her path, including, but not limited to, babies.  After convincing Selyse that she’s the real deal, she wiggles her way into Stannis’s extremely small inner circle and becomes the puppetmistress plotting out almost all of Stannis’s future moves, based mostly upon what she sees in her “prophetic” fire visions (we later learn that they are not as solid as she would have us believe).  

Is this the absolute worst possibility for future king?  No.  However, as a lasting solution for everything besides surviving the upcoming winter and attack from the Others?

Keep it.

-Paul

Renly Baratheon: The King That Should Have Been

Welcome to the second part of our series of debates on the potential rulers of the Iron Throne.  We have similar feelings towards most of these characters, so for each of these pieces, one of us is stuck supporting a position that we don’t agree with.  Hopefully our Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire topics make this more engaging than your freshman speech class was and perhaps you’ll even find some shades of gray where you previously had only seen black or white, legitimate or invalid, and noble or sordid.  We turn now to the youngest Baratheon brother, Renly.  SPOILERS through Season 2 and A Clash of Kings to follow.

We’ve been calling this article “RenFest”, because we’re soooooo clever.

For:

When we talk about Renly Baratheon, we almost inevitably start the conversation with “poor old Renly” (it’s totally not weird at all that this is a habitual thing chat). It’s just generally sad that the most handsome, charming, and functional Baratheon was brutally  murdered at the hands of his brother/brother’s sorceress. We’re sad for Loras, we’re sad for Brienne, and we’re sad for the hopes and dreams of the Tyrells and other bannermen that were crushed when that shadow baby ate his soul. Will everyone be ok? Sure. Would everyone have been better off had Renly lived and taken the Iron Throne? Yes.

Renly is Robert’s brother, and along with Stannis and a handful of bastards, the only living blood relative of the dead king. Although he is the younger brother, I would argue that Robert’s decision to seat him at Storm’s End, the ancestral seat of House Baratheon is not insignificant. Although Stannis is the older brother, it seems clear that Renly would have been chosen by Robert to lead in the event of his death. Storm’s End is a powerful hold, even called impenetrable. With this castle as the base for the strong army that Renly assembles, he is a formidable military force, and fighting him would cause any other contender to lose a disastrous amount of resources, especially in the face of the coming winter.

Luckily, Renly shares Robert’s better traits, and lacks the especially problematic ones. Although he enjoys tournaments and hunting, he is not driven by the need to fight or whore as Robert was. He is charismatic without being overbearing, he is able to listen to the counsel of others and at least make them feel like he is considering their point of view. While Robert chose to ally himself with the Lannisters for cash, Renly chose to ally himself with the Tyrells for resources. Wise man. (Don’t get me started on this women being currency thing). He pulled together a strong group of bannermen, and has backing from powerful Houses whose support could help get everyone through the tough winter ahead.

The Lannister gold isn’t edible, and they can’t buy anything at all if the fields are put to the torch. Renly is also popular with the smallfolk, because of his looks, intelligence, and charisma, and given the recent unrest in King’s Landing, we can see how important it is that the monarchy have at least some pull with the commoners.

From a more pragmatic standpoint: sure, maybe Renly is more or less a pawn of the Tyrells at this point, but is that so bad? They are actually probably the best House to be leading Westeros at this point. They have resources that outweigh even the Lannisters, plus all of the cunning with less of the cruelty (at least so far). Also, no evidence of incest at this point, always a plus. If Renly is just the next step in their game, I’m not sure that makes him a worse candidate for the throne. The Iron Throne is up for fucking grabs right now, and quibbling about the truest blood claim will not carry the day. It’s all about the power to grab the throne and the resources to hold it through the coming winter. The Tyrells have it, and Renly is the perfect figurehead for their operation.

Loras said it best, “When the sun has set, no candle can replace it.”

-Anya

Against:

The last three men to sit atop the Iron Throne have been poor examples of what kings should be.  This is part of the reason why there are so very many people claiming to be a “king” after the death of Robert Baratheon.  Each king (or queen) makes their claim supported by notably different reasons, birthright (Stannis, Daenerys, Joffrey), power (Balon, Joffrey), and vengeance (Balon, Stannis, Robb, Daenerys).  And then there’s Renly Baratheon.  

Renly could argue that his primary motivation for his kingship is revenge for the Lannisters orchestrating the death of his brother, who also has no legitimate heirs.  However, Renly could still exact revenge on the Lannisters by throwing his support to his elder brother, Stannis, and thus allow the true Baratheon house to take back the throne.  Stannis has the same announced goal as Renly, but he also carries a legitimate claim.  By every law in Westeros (which Renly should be very well aware of, having served on Robert’s small council as Master of Laws), the throne should go to his Stannis.  The concept of birthright is perhaps the most important ideology in Westeros.  For Renly to claim the throne for himself, he is casting aside the idea that holds their entire feudal system together.

Okay, fine.  Renly’s next argument could be that he has successfully rallied a number of Baratheon bannerman and cemented an ally in House Tyrell through his marriage with Margaery to create a very powerful southern army.  Power is how Robert won the throne to which he had no claim, and it is as good a reason as any, right?  While Renly may be the figurehead of a strong army backed by a slew of important resources, how much of this power is actually held by him?  

While it appears that the feelings Loras had for Renly were genuine (from his eternally angst-ridden lines throughout the book series), the Tyrell family clearly took advantage of Loras and Renly’s relationship to further the power of their own house.  First, Renly was used to try to replace Cersei with Margaery (with Renly likening her looks to Lyanna Stark), who would then be Robert’s queen and place Tyrell heirs in the line of succession.  Upon Robert’s death, the Tyrells “made” Renly a king by marrying Margaery to him and giving him the strength of Highgarden.  Renly would never be able to make a claim to the throne without their support.  Because the viewers and readers do not get a look into how this is done, we can never know exactly how much agency Renly had in the brief campaign for him to be king.  Based on the Tyrells’ actions following his death, all signs point to Renly acting as a pawn for the Tyrells’ desire to finally have a member of their house on the throne.

Renly is a good choice for the Tyrells because he’s such a likeable man.  His likeability is what allows him to convince bannerman who should support his brother (including the Florents, who are tied to Stannis by his marriage to Selyse).  He’s young, attractive, relatively intelligent, and is at least a passable knight.  This does not mean that he should be or would even make a good king.  He has never fought in a war before and does not share the same lust for battle that served Robert so well.  Being the youngest Baratheon brother, he is relatively unimportant (part of the reason why nobody was really concerned about his “secret” relationship with Loras) and he would never have received any training to prepare him to win wars and then hold the throne and repair the broken realm.  

During Catelyn Stark’s visit to secure a potential alliance with Renly for Robb, she is extremely concerned about their chances of success, musing, “for they are the knights of summer, and winter is coming.”  They are all glory and honor and games.  If we are to trust Catelyn’s impression, which is echoed by other characters (sans Loras) throughout the series, Renly was a pretty and popular man, but he lacked the makings of a true king.

-Paul