Honestly, How Do You Make Your Hair Do That?

Ok so we’re moving, and starting new jobs (hopefully) in a new place (definitely). Hooray! We’re upgrading to a New City, and some of us are feeling the stress. The Libertarian is already there, working away at his Real Job, wearing dress clothes and doing dry cleaning and matching his watches to his outfits like an Adult, and we’re more in this stage:

And I can assure you, I don’t look like this.

Just going to start with this text exchange so hopefully you can understand the level of lazy we reached this weekend:

ANYA: Can I wear peep toes shoes in a professional workplace in New City?
PAUL: Yep, as long as you’re prepared to do your little toesies
ANYA: Bah, ok fine. Or at least just the first three
PAUL: Lol right.

Yes, those last two toes are just TOO MUCH WORK. The fact that Paul was on board with this should be shocking to you, given the fact that he makes a habit of giving Anya’s...less put together looks...the once over with raised eyebrows and pursed lips. The thing is, somedays she just can’t be bothered to hunt down a chic pair of cigarette pants, some nice black heels, and a boatneck shirt to tie it all together. Any day? This is our state of affairs.

But there are ladies and gentlemen out there in the world, who wake up every morning and put themselves together. Sometimes in misguided attempts that make them look like orange floozies,or witches, or bros, but at least they’re trying?

And some of them are most definitely pulling. it. off. They know terms like “second day hair” and “highlighting and contouring”. They own products like “texturizing spray” and “pomade” and have tools that end in the word “wand”. Literal magic. And the thing is, we went through a sadly enormous chunk of our lives pretty sure that they just won some sort of genetic lottery, and had hair the likes of which we would never see, and they had it naturally.

Oh, just casual Friday

Well, times have changed, the internet has exposed the seedy underbelly of people who put in effort, and we would love to tell you that now Anya does her hair every day and has learned invaluable tips for making her eyes look bigger and her cheekbones more pronounced. Alas, no. Despite many a tutorial pinned and many a product available to her by virtue of her very put together sister, every goddamn day the girl goes to work with wet hair and let’s it “air dry” (how quaint) into a quasi-wave that evolves into a ponytail by mid-afternoon. Once she straightened her hair, and THREE CO-WORKERS commented in a way that suggested they were deeply impressed(surprised). A sad state of affairs indeed.

Here’s the thing though: how do you make your hair do these things? Does she need some sort of master/apprentice relationship to master the messy side fishtail bun? Why are we even doing things that require a black belt in hair?!

Step 1, have amazing hair, steps 2-4, be a unicorn, step 5, repeat step 1, step 6, SORCERY!

At the end of the day, it also comes down to the laziness you see at the top of the screen. You would be hard pressed to find a weekend that she’s not wearing jeans and a super lazy hairstyle because “What if I’m out doing activities and I see a dog that I need to pet! I can’t be all ‘not on my J. Crew’ to a puppy! What if I do my hair all perfectly and then I want to have afternoon sex? Then I’d have to do it AGAIN and I probably couldn’t get it quite right or have the requisite equipment and then I’m fucked both literally and figuratively!”

But, when better to change our ways than during a time when we’re facing general upheaval? Shouldn’t this move be the time to fix our (her) errant hair? Steps one (buy work shoes that are not moccasins) and two (purchase a straightener) are complete. Who wants to mentor Anya through difficult path ahead? (ha, get it?). She’ll pay you in puns! And on the plus side, has a very healthy head of hair, almost untouched by heat or product for the last twenty something years.

Anya Extends An Offer She May Bitterly Regret

It all started at an H&M, as these things are wont to do. Paul is shopping with Swiss Miss. Anya is at home mulling over which gold spray paint to use on her antique chandelier. Things are strange. Suddenly, the phone vibrates! A message from Paul.

“A customah!”

PAUL: There was this cat shirt I almost bought you, but then I remembered that you don’t like cats or H&M.

ANYA: Haha under the right circumstances I would accept both. Probably have to let go of that hatred since I rock their dresses so hard?

PAUL: It’s for the good of the planet!

ANYA: Basically. Also, I will regret this but I accept any and all animal clothes from now on.

PAUL: Ohohoh. (This is the first sign that he’s going to fuck with me).

ANYA: I could up the ante by committing to wearing them to work.

PAUL: Stop.

ANYA: I could send out an office email with my offer.

PAUL: Does this include mythical animals and/or fantasy hybrids?

ANYA: Absolutely.

PAUL: Creepy Lawyer will buy you a towel dress that says ‘PUSSY’ on it.

ANYA: I’ll write up a set of rules.

So here we are. Anya, a connoisseur of all things both wearable and animal themed (except actual fur OBVIOUSLY), is going to foolishly commit (what other kind of commitment is there, really?) to wearing any and all animal themed clothing and accessories that she receives. To work. The guidelines are as follows:

     - It can be any kind of animal, real or imagined, as long as its genitals aren’t featured.

    - Also, not dead.

     - It can be any kind of clothing, but she will not be wearing underwear outside her pants or other such nonsense.

     - It can be secondhand (except earrings or undergarments, she doesn’t care how well you washed it.)

     - She reserves the right to tailor these items, but will wear them visibly (not wearing pajama pants to work as actual pants, because she does need to stay employed, but will make them into a shirt/skirt/headband).

Top 6 Looks from Mad Men S6 E13: In Care Of

And the people around the world collectively exhaled. While we are sure that Don getting “laid off” was not a surprise to everyone, but we can’t imagine that anyone out there could have predicted the act that would be the final nail in his SC&P coffin. Don’s “pitch” to Hershey led to a many a mouth agape in our viewing party, as we sat there trying to process the words that were coming out of his mouth. It’s been one hell of a ride this year, huh? Weiner and friends managed to nicely tie up many of Season 6’s storylines, while leaving us all intrigued for what’s in store for the next and final season of Mad Men.

-What the hell is Pete Campbell doing? He, admittedly, had a pretty rough episode, with both personal (his mother) and professional (Chevy) losses. But when he told Trudy he was going to California and was then absent from the SC&P Partners meeting, a gigantic red flag went up. We have no idea what his plan is, but it can’t be good. Maybe the 7th Season will go in a new direction: a California-set sitcom featuring Don and Pete as a jolly pair of pranksters who won’t let the overly-serious Ted get any work done. Maybe not.

-This takes us right to: What the hell is Don Draper doing? We’ve figured that he was going to get out of the advertising biz, one way or another, eventually, but we now have a (basically) unemployed Don and entire season to get through. Will he spend some time in sunny California (with or without Megan)? Start his own agency or get hired by another firm? Reconnect with Midge in some Village crack den? Finally get off the drink and focus all his energy on being a good Dad? Don certainly was “going down,” but it’s all up from here, right? This episode was a bit of a game changer for Don. We’re interested in his next step for the first time in a very long time.

Quotes:

• DON: Los Angeles is not what you see in the movies, it’s like Detroit, with palm trees.
• ROGER: Well you know what they say about Detroit, it’s all fun and games til they shoot you in the face. (Some things never do change)
• PETE: NOT GREAT, BOB!
• SALLY: Well, I wouldn’t want to do anything immoral.
• PETE: Honestly, I have bigger problems than this.
• JIM: Chanel No. 5?
  PEGGY: It’s all I wear
  
• TED: I told your neighbors I was a cop.
  PEGGY: You should go before they kill you.
• CAROLINE: I’d invite him to my place for Thanksgiving, but Ralph stopped drinking and you know little Ralphie’s spastic... I think both are too much for him.
• DON: Happy Thanksgiving, sweetheart.
• BUD: Did they check the beaches?
  MAN ON PHONE: First of all, there are a lot of sharks.
• MEGAN: I used to feel pity for them, but now I realize we’re all in the same boat. 
• LOU AVERY: Going Down? 

Looks:

6. Megan Steely Blue Reserve Outfit

This bottom slot was a tough spot to fill. Honorary mentions go to Trudy, Margaret, and Joan’s Snow Leopard outfit. Megan doesn’t wear a lot of a blue, which is a shame because it looks so great with her eyes, but in this episode it was the only actual color that she wore (also on her nightgown and final ensemble). Megan always takes it just a little bit too far, doesn’t she? The funky-printed blouse and leather vest combination wasn’t enough for her, she just had to throw on the scarf. Regardless of her taste level, she always looks young, hip, and wealthy, and this is no exception. Megan’s future seems to be a bit up in the air, but we’re hoping that this is not her final entry on our list of favorite looks (Well, at least one of us is!). 

5. Stan Suited Up

Man with a plan Stan look looked mighty fine in his dapper little suit. Sure, Don may have stolen Stan’s great idea to talk the partners into giving him the Californian Sunkist position, but Stan can rest easy knowing he is adorable in a tie. This brown and blue suit is still very Stan, with its patterns galore, and would also have been a great first piece for a new West Coast wardrobe. Don’t cry too much, Stan, looks like Pegs is a free woman again, maybe the two of you can finally get on the same page? Just keep on doing you, and enjoy that sandwich. Also, how nice does the newly-named SC&P logo look? 

4. Clara’s Pink & Purple Print

We can’t believe that Clara has worked for Pete for as long as she has (perhaps a crippling shopping addiction has prevented her from even thinking about getting caught applying for other jobs?), and we hope that we are able to continue to feature her fun and fresh outfits in the season to come. For whatever reason (really nice Christmas bonuses?), she seems to respect and even like Pete enough to be rooting for him to succeed. We give her a hard time, but we can't complain about the presence of Clara because she has treated us to some truly great clothes this season. This pink and purple dress may feature a bit of a busy print, but it is completely working for us. We prefer Clara with her hair up, mostly so we can focus on her jewelry, in this case those great hoop earrings. 

3. Peggy in Pants

Peggy also had a bit of a rough time this episode (Did anybody besides Joan have a good time?). Luckily for the world, when Peggy is faced with personal failures, she usually responds by focusing all of her energy on her work. This scene saw Peggy spending Thanksgiving at the office. At first we only see the top half of her outfit. We see the strong and powerful red turtleneck and the bold graphic vest. And then. AND THEN. The camera pans down to reveal a pair of motherfucking polyester pants! Peggy is at work, IN PANTS. Women’s trousers would finally become an office staple in the 70s, but leave it to our girl, Peggy, to get that much-needed trend started at SC&P. Also, can we all reflect on that Ah-mazing shot of her at Don's desk, framed EXACTLY like the one of Don every week? 

2. Joan’s Holloday with her Boys

Granted, a redhead in green isn’t exactly a revelation, but why fuck with perfection? Joan looks spectacular. She changed out of her serious suit from the partners’ meeting and let her hair down to spend her Thanksgiving holiday with the most important men in her life: her son, her son’s father, and her best friend. Who doesn’t want to spend Thanksgiving listening to “Moon River” with Joanie? Love, love, LOVE the gold peacock brooch. Roger’s gift of Ocean Spray’s Cranberry Sauce was a great touch and we also had quite the reaction to Bob Benson’s apron. Wish we could have seen Gail’s hair.

And our favorite look from the season 6 finale of Mad Men is... 

1. Peggy’s Adultery-Inducing Dress

Four screencaps of Peggy vamping it up because why not? Peggy sure has come a long way from her earliest attempts at seduction. Peggy wore this little number after Ted’s wife showed up to the office, when Peggy had a date with a finance guy. Of course, this dress was put on purely for Ted’s torture/enjoyment. Peggy knew exactly what she wanted and knew that this getup would get it for her. She was not at all surprised to see Ted at her apartment, where she would quickly accomplish her mission (leading to tragic/for the best(?) results). We appreciated Ted’s rather human reasoning of “because I don’t want anyone else to have you,” and classic Peggy locking her dangerous apartment door as they begin to undress each other.

Top 6 Looks from Mad Men S6 E12: The Quality of Mercy

So, who else is not looking forward to the season finale of Mad Men? That was one nerve-racking/confusing/exhausting/infuriating episode. This episode did not have us gasping (sans Ken getting shot), but instead caused grimacing with an audible oof, after the numerous lines of the emotional gut punch variety. This show has prompted a lot of different reactions in us, but seething anger is a new one. Don, dealing with a whole slew of separate issues with his wife, (ex?) mistress, and daughter, took out all of his negative energy on Ted and Peggy. After last week’s truce, it was especially difficult to watch Don maliciously manipulate Ted throughout the entire episode, and after his “help” during the St. Joseph pitch, we were completely ready to go all Duck Phillips on his ass.

The most upsetting aspect of the episode was not Don’s terrible treatment of Ted, but what Don did to Peggy and his complete objectification of her. Peggy and Don have always had a special relationship. His protégé has surprised, challenged, and supported him in a multitude of ways over the years. Don had a difficult time accepting Peggy’s need to strike out on her own (and seeing it as a product of his own success and inspirational creative abilities), and things just got messier when she was once again working with him after the merger. What started as Don needing validation that Peggy still cared for or respected him (specifically over Ted), ended in his abhorrent behavior towards her in this week’s episode, interesting titled “The Quality of Mercy.”

Was Peggy and Ted’s infatuation getting a bit out of hand? Sure. But anyone who thinks that Don’s motivation was “for the good of the company,” is a fucking moron. In the most embarrassing way possible, Don “called out” their workplace romance (because he’s never dipped into company pool, well, except for Dr. Miller, plucky Allison, and... Oh! That’s right, his current wife) hoping to finally squelch Ted’s desire for Don’s favorite toy, Peggy. She was spot on when she stormed into his office and confronted him, calling him “a monster.” Don’s fetal response tells us that he knows it’s true, but we know better than to expect any real or lasting change from him.

Pete, after failing to expose Don, decides that it might be more useful to have Bob Benson working with him (and owing him?)? We’re still completely puzzled by that scene, from start to finish. After Pete’s super weird Bob conversation, we turned to each other and said “what just happened?” Pete was burned by his failed attempt to take Don out, but his encounters with Bob have gone from strange to absolutely bizarre. It’s kind of scary to see Bob put his serious face on and stare Pete down. Poor Clara bears the brunt of it, of course.

Greet week. Onto the (less un)fun!

Quotes:

• PEGGY: Don’t, uh, let the name fool ya, they’re all delicious, my friend!
  TED: They are our one dried and one fresh fruit, for a new generation!
  (Oh these accents...)

• MEGAN (dramatically whispered): Oh my god!
• COOPER (on Pete’s “reluctance”): Crocodile tears? How quaint.
• BOB BENSON (en Español): This Pete Campbell is a son of a bitch! I don’t care how nice she is. He’s a snotty bastard and he’s screwing with my future!
• DON: What’s going on in there?
  MOIRA: Someone’s having a good time.
• BETTY: I’d rather have you do it in front of me than behind my back.
• SALLY: My father’s never given me anything. (Especially rough on Father’s Day)

Looks:

6. Sally’s Stay at Miss Porter’s

We finally get to see the place where Joanne learned to Tango (RENT, anybody? Just us?). We have to admit, we were worried for little Sally when Mandy and Millicent (honestly you’re asking for your child to become a witch naming her Millicent!) starting their hazing project. We knew she could take care of herself, but after some serious trauma last week, we were worried about what shape it would take. She’s still in school girl plaid this week, but of a shorter hem and bluer variety. She looks more modern, and fits in with the other girls at boarding school. We were happy to laugh at Mandy’s Britney Spears circa “Hit Me Baby One More Time” look, stapled hem and all. Pulling it all together by tying that knot in the front, but wearing a matching cami underneath? They’re all still babies, thank goodness.

Glen’s pin bedecked protest coat was another hilarious element to this tableau, made even better by his oh so original hippie lingo “Nice digs. I’m Glen, by the way.”. He was followed shortly by “I’m Rolo, by the way. Nice Digs.” in his douchey turtleneck and sexual predator sandals. We were so relieved to see Sally stand up for herself and put the kibosh on that hippie horror show. When Glen came out from his...entanglement with Millicent, to confront Rolo, we forgave him for most, if not all, of his past weirdness. Hooray for child hippies and preteen sluttish experimentation!

5. Peggy Rattled in a Recycled Dress

As depressing as the St. Joseph’s meeting was, Peggy looked pretty goddamn sharp. We’ve actually seen this outfit before, but were too distracted by her fantastic outerwear to comment on the suit. We love her in navy, and the turquoise accents are perfect. Anya would totally wear this to work, and not care that she looked a little too retro. It’s obvious that this is an important meeting for Peggy, and if you’re following the whole blue and green as signs of adultery theory, this look is extra significant. She and Ted had been strangely obvious in their flirtation the entire episode, and to wear those colors when we all watched Don basically out them? Another of our audible oofs.

We like Peggy in business wear, and we like the structure of her relatively new and grown up style. When she stormed into Don’s office and said “Oh, you get privacy?!”, she looked the part of a powerful and important part of the office. She is not under him anymore, in any way. Poor Peggy is just trying to get out of her dysfunctional relationship with a dysfunctional man, and in typical Don style, he can’t let her get away. He especially couldn’t lose her to a man that is in many ways the best version of himself. Ted is the “Don” of CGC, but with a moral compass that seems to function. People put up with Don’s bullshit because of his talent or charm, but Ted has it all. Peggy is the LAST person Don wants to hear that from, as probably the only woman besides Joan that Don likes and respects and hasn’t fucked. BUT HE JUST HAS TO RUIN HER DAY.

4. Betty’s Creamy Car Clothes

Betty makes a return to this list this week, in the classic Republican wife’s uniform. We noticed plaid when screencapping, and love it with the texture and the cut. Yes, it’s super boring and conservative, but skinny reblonde Betty is making it looks pretty damn good. Of COURSE this is her “my daughter’s boarding school interview” outfit. From top to bottom, Betty is showing us her campaign look, and it’s totally her. She is nothing if not a great mannequin for the total package. Seeing Betty have everything she ever wanted (on the surface, because what else has Betty ever wanted) is actually really satisfying for Anya, who loves this shallow bitch more than she should, and readily admits it. Not a hair out of place, and it’s actually nice to watch her sing Sally’s praises in front of her.

We don’t think it’s a leap to say that Betty knows something is going on with Sally, and is genuinely worried about her. We think it goes deeper than just being able to say her daughter went to Jackie Kennedy’s boarding school, she really does seem to want a connection with her daughter, and not just to get back at Megan. How did Betty (who gives Sally a cigarette, in case you had forgotten) become the good parent? As much as Sally wants to hate her mom, Don really nailed shut his own coffin last week, and if she wants any kind of relationship with either of them, she should start accepting Betty’s super weird motherhood advances. The poor woman doesn’t have the first clue how to parent, give her a break.

3. Megan’s Scarlet Letter

It’s been awhile since we last saw you around here, Megs! Luckily Megan managed to escape the terrible lighting that plagued her at the start of the episode (and the last three) and pulled it together with a great hairstyle and lovely red number. We turned to each other and said “that’s better!” as soon as we saw her pick up the phone. The skirt pattern is great, and matches the coat she wears to the movies (talk about money to burn!). She is accessorized well, wearing makeup THANK GOODNESS, and her hair is finally back to its old big and shiny ways. When we saw her wake up in the sad lacy beige number in the beginning of the episode, then stand looking at Don in the harsh morning light, we were not impressed. Another beige episode for the Draper women. Luckily, she pulled it together and reanimated herself for an early night out to watch Rosemary’s Baby.

Maybe we’re reading too much into it, but it was interesting to see Megan in such a bright red (a dramatic departure from the past few weeks) when she saw Peggy and Ted together (with her oh so subtle “oh my GOD!”), the same shade Sally was wearing last week when she saw Don and Sylvia together. Is red the adultery witness code color? Probably not, but it wasn’t a very subtle reminder. Megan’s barely repressed glee in the face of Ted and Peggy’s supposed affair reminds us how very detached she is from the reality of her own marriage. Ouch, girl.

2. Don’s Casual Cinema Clothes

In an unusual feat for the men of the show, Don is taking second place this week on our countdown, in a mock turtleneck that Paul loved from start to finish. We always seem to get a little more excited about the men’s casual clothes, perhaps having built up some kind of tolerance to caring about suits, after seeing so goddamn many of them over the course of the show. Monster he may be, but Don never finds himself stuck in bad lighting for long. This look was a much-welcomed change from the awful hangover (still drunk?) slept-in clothes the episode opened on. While we doubt that the comments and looks made by Megan, Joan, and Moira had any major effect on Don’s actions this episode, they certainly did not do anything to alleviate Don’s fucked up feelings on the situation.

1. Peggy’s Bewitching Beige

We have never enjoyed a beige look so much. Not natural fans of what is perhaps the most drab color the world has ever seen, we were as surprised as anyone that we not only loved this dress on Peggy, but we gave her the top slot this week. Ted’s hand on her waist doesn’t hurt either. Great accessorizing, girl! Honestly, it might be because Peggy was so happy until the end of this episode, but she looked like a million dollars. The cut was perfect for her, and we loved the pearly buttons, cute pocket flaps, and collar. We’ve seen that scarf before, and we like it when that sort of thing happens. It lends credibility to characters when they mix and match other pieces of “their” wardrobe.

Elizabeth Moss gets an Emmy for effort in our book, not least because she looks so goddamn happy in the screenshot Paul captured. It’s sad how jarring it is to see Peggy overjoyed. We almost feel like we missed something! Ted went home to his wife and boys at the end of the last episode...and now this? No matter how it happened, they were too happy to exist in the Mad Men world, and were riding for a fall. We hope Peggy was wrong when she told Don “you killed it.” but she probably isn’t. /sadface/ Just look at the screenshots for her beige outfit and those for her navy one. Poor Peggy’s face tightened right back up into cat lady.

Top 6 Looks from Mad Men S6 E11: Favors

That had to have been one of the saddest Mad Men moments ever. Earlier in the season, we had a sinking suspicion that Don and Sylvia were going to caught, only we were sure that it was going to be a dramatic encounter with either Megan or Arnold. We figured we were wrong, once the affair “ended,” and went about our days theorizing character deaths and sexualities. The room was thus filled with gasps when the adulterous reunion of Don and Sylvia was discovered by poor goddamn Sally Draper, who is old enough to know what’s happening, but not old enough to deal with it (Does that age exist?).

This episode, transparently titled “Favors,” wasn’t so much about the actual acts of favors (although there were a lot of them), as it was about the roles that people play and the motivations and numerous expectations that go along with them. We might be able to easily answer the question of what makes someone a good friend or parent or co-worker, but it becomes a bit more complicated when we try to occupy multiple roles at the same time, especially when two or more of them are in direct conflict with each other. Don occupies the most complex position when he is looking for assistance from his work partners and clients because he is trying to help his wife help their neighbor-friends (one of whom is an ex-lover) with their child, colossally letting down his own daughter after getting caught rekindling his affair. You know, typical simplistic Mad Men storyline.

Ted and his bland wife are having marital problems (surprise...), but Ted steps up to the plate and realizes that while he’s being a great ad man and boss, chumming around with Pete and Peggy and buying them so many drinks they have a sincere moment...he’s letting things go at home. Whether he enjoys it or not, we see him go home at the end of the episode to be an actual, functional father to his children (although he pointedly does not wake up his sleeping wife for family time).

Quotes:

• PEGGY: Did she go to China for that tea?
• SALLY: You hate that Daddy supports my dreams. He doesn’t think I’m just a pain in the ass!
  BETTY: Your father is a hero! (double ouch, given how the episode ends)
• PETE: And he’s in love with you too.
  PEGGY: You’re the one who’s in love with him!
• TED: Imagine if every time Ginger Rogers jumped in the air, Fred Astaire punched her in the face.
• DOROTHY: I suppose there’s a way I could mistake your tone for concern.
• PEGGY: Oh! Why didn’t you say so? You can bring her!
• TED: Don’t be an asshole, Don.

Top Looks of the evening:

6. Manolo’s Swishy Suit n Stash

Manolo was a welcome addition to an otherwise incredibly depressing episode this week. Anya really enjoyed this nurse/boyfriend from his first appearance in an all white ensemble paired with a perfectly brushed stache. Manolo upped his game for a night out with poor old Mrs. Campbell, with a silk cravat and lovely pocket square. If we weren’t sure how Bob Benson ran into him before, we are now! Watching Pete gratefully tip Manolo off the books, while Peggy learns of his mother’s...infatuation...was perfection. Watching Mrs. Campbell confront her son was much less entertaining. Another ouch moment in an already painful episode, especially when she forgot her purse. Couldn’t resist capturing Mrs. Campbell’s bedazzled old lady take on Wendy’s fly away to Neverland nightgown, which Anya thought was great (in a terrible way) from hat to toe.

5. Julie’s Great Friend Greens

Who didn’t have a junior high friend like Julie growing up? While Serious Sally is quizzing herself in the cab on the way to Model UN, Julie wistfully stares out the window thinking about Mitch’s hair. Not that Sally doesn’t care about boys, she just has room in her brain for all kinds of knowledge, unlike Jules, who doesn’t know a thing about Eleanor Roosevelt. Julie thinks that she’s being a good friend when she signs Sally’s name on their sleepover list of things the like about Mitch and slides it under their door (or maybe she’s just being a bitch, but we’re not sure that she’s crafty enough for that). Regardless of her intentions and helpfulness, Julie certainly turns it out in her accessorized-to-a-T Model UN outfit. She may only be going for, as Betty put it, “another excuse to make out,” (Sexpert Julie has been to second base twice!) but her fun and girlish floral-printed dress is undeniably adorable. Poor yourself a glass, Julie. We're sure you earned it after a grueling day of pretending that you gave a shit about international politics.

4. Peggy’s Cat-Lady-in-Training Outfit

Girl. This is a surprisingly great outfit, despite its title, but Peggy had a rough week this week. We knew that fucking rat in her apartment couldn’t be a good omen, and when she came back to a trail of blood, Anya shouted “tell me when it’s over!” and hid her face. This reaction felt justified when Peggy, another strong feminist, called Stan in the middle of the night to kill the dying rat under the couch. We all have our weak spots. It was a little heartbreaking to watch Pegs put on her sexy voice, only to learn that Stan has another girl in his bed, one he shockingly won’t bring over for a rat killing expedition. When Peggy’s attempt to find a man to save the day falls through, she does what many women have done before and since...she gets a cat. At least Peggy’s problem can be solved by the cat’s prey drive, and not by its companionship skills. We like that she clearly wore this outfit to work, and isn’t just sitting on the couch with the cat in a housedress. The jacket is snappy, the pattern is sharp, and we love the buttons and the fit. Peggy has found her style, and we like it!

3. Sally’s Affair to Remember Attire

Poor. Sally. No one had a great time on Mad Men this week, but Sally probably got the worst of it. From our glimpse of her dealing with newly svelte Betty to her traumatic experience breaking into the Rosen’s apartment, Sally is set up to be a truly damaged child (as if she wasn’t already by the Draper parenting style). She looks like such a schoolgirl, and the dress really emphasizes how young she is. The thick, bright red stripe down the center is striking, especially because Julie’s outfit has a similar pattern...but her stripe is white. From the dialogue, it seems like Julie is (or wants to be) the more worldly and experienced teenager, but it’s clear that Sally has more experience with the adult world than she ever wanted, despite never having been to second base.

We’ve seen Sally glammed up, with her miniskirt and go go boots, getting her first period, trying out more adult hairstyles, but this outfit takes us back to baby Sally who so desperately wants her parents’ approval. Down to the knee socks and plaid, this outfit is perfect for revealing to us that even though Sally oftens speaks precociously, she is not at all ready for what she sees when she looks through that doorway in the Rosens’ apartment. Sidenote: HAVEN’T YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF CLOSING THE GODDAMN DOOR? They’re almost lucky it was Sally that walked in, since they clearly don’t care about damaging their children’s psyches.

2. Pete’s Peacock Plumage

Pete looked unusually nice in his gray three piece suit. The tie and pocket square are a nice color on him (bringing out his one remaining attractive feature, his eyes), and for some reason it kind of gave us bird vibes. Dove gray? Peacock blue? Besides, we can’t say no to some alliteration. When Bob popped cheerfully into the office thinking he and Pete were going to lunch, we knew things were going downhill fast for him. We picked up on the fact that Bob was being less than honest about how he knew this fabulous nurse, since he told Ken his dad died when he was explaining the delivery to Roger’s mother’s funeral. We did not expect Bob to basically come out to Pete in the middle of a Monday morning.

Pete seems like the LAST person you would want to confide in, not least because he’s an insensitive shmuck. It was almost touching, but again, mostly sad to watch Bob try to explain “true love” to Pete of all people. He took is about as well as could be expected, with a “tell him it’s disgusting!”, but he let the knee touch linger than we would have guessed. It’s clear that Pete is very lonely, and enjoys flattery in any form. We doubt Bob has actual feelings for Pete (Well, who the fuck knows with that squirrelly suck-up), but he’s a shrewd dude, and we were honestly surprised that Bob took a chance saying any of it. Maybe he just couldn’t resist the suit!

1. Peggy’s Personification of “Brains, Beauty, and Ambition”

Peggy nabs the top spot in our countdown this week, with a green and black look. We just can’t get enough of Peggy’s work clothes lately, girlfriend is nailing it. We loved the dark trim against the green, and the reappearance of what we’re calling “the funeral hat”. She wore the suit in two extremely different environments this week, and it served her well. Coming out of a meeting where she clearly just presented, Peggy looks like she belongs in the room with the big boys in her tailored jacket and skirt. She is formal and put together when she is forced into babysitting Pete’s mother and enduring an incredibly awkward conversation. We grimaced all over the place when we realized that Peggy didn’t really have a handle on just how bad Mrs. Campbell’s condition is, and when she brought up the child they had together... it was tough to watch.

That painful conversation fell by the wayside later in the episode, and we’re just hoping Peggy wasn’t drinking to excess because of it.  We see the suit sans jacket while she’s having dinner (but mostly drinking) with Pete and Ted. With the jacket off, it was a cute sleeveless number, and she looked very comfortable in her role as “beauty, brains and ambition”. It was nice to see her relax and let go, and have an honest conversation with Pete. The two of them actually bonded! While it was happening, we were just waiting for Pete to lose his shit when Peggy mentioned what his mother said, but it ended in the two of them genuinely giggling! Might be the nicest moment in the episode.