More Weird Shit You Googled To Get Here

Again, thanks for stopping by. We really are glad you’re here, even if it is just to enjoy our merry collection of GIFs. We frequently look at our list of Google search terms to see just what you crazy kids are looking up to get to Minds Melding. Our favorite searches are the really specific soulmate-esque ones (e.g., “siblings or dating” or “royal dorgis”), but we also heartily enjoy the ones that are a little wonky, where we can see the connection, and remain puzzled but amused the ones that come from way out of left field. Please enjoy the following list of some recent favorites:

“game of thrones craigslist ad rental”

So… that happened.

“dreadful terror blogspot” (ouch, Google search engine, ouch.)

“paul rudd’s nose jewish”

“‘jake gyllenhaal’ 2013 jewish” (shockingly, his 2012 Judaism carried over into the new year)

“taco bowman”

No tacos here.

“is melding with a demon considered evil” (Um, fucking yes. You’re welcome.)

“possum/possums/baby possum” (prompting Anya’s “See?! We need MORE POSSUMS!”)

“ya novels special snowflake”

“quotes about relationshios irnage”

What is your life?

“prophets vitamin e8”

“melding with the twenyty somethings”

“'he said. she said: at it again'”

“jenna marbles witchcraft”

“passive aggressive mom”

“flirt hookups mat weeks” (???)

“did the queen of dragons exist”

“daenerys „dany“ targaryen shackled”

“sassy daenerys”

“sluttish wife rough”

“camilla gorgi nude” (Someone please tell us where this was headed)

“terrorist in your own backyard”

“betty draper butter”

No GIFs of Betty Francis chowing down dairy products to be found here.

Weird Shit You Googled to Get to Our Blog

Okay, guys. We’re glad that you found our special little corner of the internet. Like, it’s great. We’re glad that you’re here. But some of you Googled some pretty goddamn bizarre shit to get to us, from ‘LOL wut?’ to ‘WHAT THE FUCK!?’. Perhaps we shouldn’t judge too harshly, with our own lurid history with the Google search engine, and, to be fair, some of these searches are quotes from Minds Melding... but let’s get real, we’re judging the fuck outta you. We hope you enjoy a secret look into the life of our people and your peers.

“bad behavior of queen's corgis”

So. Naughty.

“fertility vase of the ndebele tribe”

“libertarians being called domestic terrorists”

“is stannis a hero” (The answer is no.)

“stannis submissive in bed”

Probably not.

“did joffrey baratheon feel guilt?” (The answer is also no.)

“still sleeping with his wife” (Who?? Mysteries abound.)

“daenerys targaryen boobs gif”

“daenerys boobs all”

“daenerys second sons naked”

“game of thrones dragon queen titts”

“daenerys targaryen tit”

“daenerys targaryen tits gif”

No tits here, guys!

“would stannis ever marry daenerys” (hmm...again no.)

“motherfuckings joffrey baratheon”

“joffrey needs his ass kicked”

“robb stark puppy” (awwwwww *sniffle*)

“joan mad men iron throne”

Can you imagine?

“some elderly negro woman”

“bob benson ‘are you a homo?’”

"ted's infatuation"

“did betty draper really gain weight?”

Do you mean January Jones? Ha, please!

"much older woman"

We close with the largest source of hits from Google searches to our blog:

“trust no one”

Things We Googled At Work and Immediately Regretted

More than once, we have had the feeling that there is some tech person, locked into a dark cave somewhere, monitoring our internet activity while we’re at work. This conviction has only been strengthened by the fact that we have recently seen a sharp increase in the number of blockpages on sites that we regularly visit (with most of them being categorized as “Tasteless.”  RUDE). You can imagine how this affects our productivity as we frantically try to work our way around the fact that Game of Thrones has the word “game” in it, and is therefore apparently not work appropriate. Ugh.

Then again, there are work Googles and things better Googled on your phone. The following is a tribute to distinctions we should have made, and the mysterious tech person who puzzles over them:

“Best way to clean DivaCup”

“Robert Baratheon’s will”

“Sheep farms that don’t eat the lambs”

“Zodiac killer picnic”

“Copper IUD”

“Raccoon photobomb”

“Women Don Draper has slept with”

“Jewish women Don Draper has slept with”

“What caffeine does to your brain”

“Places that deliver to [place of employment]” (this one because we do NOT need to be having all of those calories delivered directly to our door).

“Jon Snow’s parentage”

“Office chair exercises” (Just. Embarrassing.)

“Jobs in Chicago/D.C./Denver/New York/San Francisco/Seattle”

“Kombucha tea” (THE FUCK?!)

“How to brew kombucha tea” (obvious follow up)

“BMI calculator”

“Body Fat Percentage calculator”

“Online calorie tracker”

“Stannis Baratheon chest” (looking for his breastplate!)

“Are five year reunions a thing?”

“Angry cats”

“Disheveled cats”

“Feral cats”

“Perineum tear”

“Tears in childbirth”

“How much do abortions cost in [state]?”

“Is heart cancer a thing?”

“Robb Stark direwolf puppies” (no way to disguise this sexy time suck as work)

“Daenerys Targaryen” image search

"hacking"

“Process of [any medical procedure]”

“End of honeymoon phase in marriage”

“Richard Madden’s ass”