Top 5 Episodes of Buffy Season 4

The return of the Internet also brings about the return of Anya to not-so-sunny Sunnydale and her hopefully unwavering commitment to watch the entirety of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She finally finished the latter half of the topsy-turvy Season Four, and can now present our favorite episodes of from this bizarre BtVS season. Per usual, spoilers for this and any previous season throughout.

Season Four is a strange one. It carries a few truly spectacular individual episodes. “Hush” is generally considered one of the greatest episodes of the entire series and you’d be hard pressed to find a “Top X” list of Buffy episodes that did not include it in the top 3 slots. However, Season Four also features one of the weakest seasonal arcs. As such, none of our favorite episodes really touch on it, so we’ll try to flesh out our overall impressions here.

The show echoed its struggling characters, attempting to find a place in the world post-high school and post-Angel. The secret government agency schtick is chock full of issues and the audience isn’t introduced to the Big Bad until halfway through the season (who’s just a vanilla version of Frankenstein’s monster). The loss of previous regular cast members brings us full-time Spike and Anya, and introduces Riley (who Paul hates and Anya loves, mostly to spite Paul) and Tara (who Paul loves and Anya doesn’t, mostly to spite Paul), creating a very different group dynamic. To various degrees of success, the season looks at the ways that our relationships change as our roles change. Friendships that might have come naturally before due to shared location and activities require efforts that we’re not always prepared to put in.

Without further ado, our list:

5. “Pangs”

"Well, maybe we started a new tradition this year... Maybe not. But at least we all worked together. It was like old times."

"Yeah, especially with Angel being here and everything."

This episode made our list for many reasons, most of which are just personal hangups, so bear with us. First of all, the Buffy in the kitchen trying to recreate “real” Thanksgiving bit is both hilarious and painful to watch. Girl, you are not a homemaker. While she has a lot of moments where she strives to be more “normal” or wishes for an unexceptional lifestyle, it’s more in theory than in practice. We see her struggle with her identity frequently in the series, but this is that struggle at its most lighthearted.

Willow’s campaign against revisionist history cracks us up, especially when it sort of falls apart as the house comes under attack. Like many people who mean well, she is forced to confront the fact that her own ideas pretty fucking revisionist too, just not in the same direction as her high school textbook.

And of course, the perfect perfect perfect ending pictured above.

4. “Something Blue”

“Oh, Spike! Of course it’s a yes!”

Having seen a spoiler on the Buffy reddit a couple of months ago, Anya had been badgering Paul about a Buffy/Spike coupling for quite some time. Little did she know that this episode would surpass her wildest expectations of the relationship, and all because Willow was being a grumpus. Buffy and Spike’s impending nuptials are the light and fluffy frosting on a pretty ugly and fucked up cake made of all of the other issues.

We always like it when Joss can poke fun at his own plot points (see the Buffy/Angel conversation interrupted by Xander in "The Zeppo"), and the over the top nature of Buffy and Spike’s affection taking place right in Giles’ living room is great because it doesn’t look so terribly different from the turn her relationship with Riley takes shortly thereafter. Besides, we just can’t get enough of saying “Spoooike” in Dru’s voice, and any excuse for that is golden with us.

This episode also features a three-second cameo from Amy, who is turned into a woman and then poofed back into a rat again, something that Paul always points to as evidence for Buffy being a truly great television show.

3. “Who Are You”

“'Cause I could do anything I want and instead I just pout and whine and feel the burden of slayerness? I mean, I could be rich, I could be famous, I could have anything. Anyone. Even you, Spike. I could ride you at a gallop till your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up, I've got muscles you've never even dreamed of, I could squeeze you till you popped like warm champagne and you'd beg me to hurt you just a little bit more and you know why I don't?”

As someone who was completely sick of Faith’s poor little unloved slut waif arc, Anya was not that excited to see this episode. Yes, we get it, Faith is what Buffy COULD HAVE BEEN. A Slayer gone awry is so very tragic, etc. She left off on "This Year’s Girl" before the big move, and kept saying “oh yeah…” when Paul excitedly reminded her of what was to come. All of that aside, when she did finally watch the episode, she came around a little bit. Watching Faith in Buffy’s body (or rather, SMG impersonating Eliza’s “Harlot”-type) was, admittedly, mostly funny. Faith-as-Buffy gets some great lines, like every moment of the above speech to Spike or “Well, we certainly don't want to cut into THAT seven minutes,” but it’s the combination of her clothing, body language, and line delivery that really make the episode.

Watching Faith try on Buffy’s life for size, at first acting above it all, and as she tried to mimic Buffs more convincingly, falling into that role to the point that she goes back to the church and then beats the ever-loving shit out of her own body while shouting, “You’re nothing! You’re disgusting!”? Mostly sad.

2. “Hush”

“Well, I guess we have to talk.”
“I guess we do.”

Here’s the thing, Internet (and also Paul): you really built this episode up to the point that Anya couldn’t even sort out how she would have felt about it in a vacuum because everyone was all over its dick! So she’ll let Paul take over to explain what you all already know, this is a great episode (maybe the greatest!?) and it has such a message to it.

This episode gives us a lot of great material to discuss. This is the first episode to feature Tara. We meet her at her meekest, but we can still see the hints of what she’ll become, a grounding member of the Scooby Gang, who serves as a catalyst for a number of important changes in Willow. This is the only episode to ever showcase The Gentlemen (who unfortunately go out with a bang), some of the creepiest villains to ever be on the show. The gaunt and sallow skin? The sunken-in bloodshot eyes? The permanent hungry wolf smiles? The monkey-like cronies in straight jackets? The polite golf clapping and “Oh stop!” miming while commemorating their heartnapping? Come on!

The best part of the episode is, of course, what happens when The Gentlemen come to town. They steal all the Sunnydale residents’ voices, meaning that the majority of the episode has no spoken dialogue. We then get a poignant look at the necessity and limitations of language, the words that we attempt to use to convey our wants, needs, feelings, and intentions. As much as we rely upon them, sometimes words get in the way, either because of our inability to select the correct ones or because some things can only be said with our bodies. The end of the episode where Buffy and Riley, with returned voices, sit in silence? Genius.

1. “Restless”

“I was on time, so I got to be cowboy guy.”

If we hadn’t already told you that Paul hates Riley, you would have guessed based on the fact that of ALL the pictures he could have chosen from this insane episode, he chose the one of Riley in a fucking cowboy hat (To be fair, this episode makes the ONLY occasion Paul ever finds Riley likeable, where Willow dreams up this hilariously simplistic Riley, poking fun at both the character and the actor’s oafish “acting”). Feelings on Riley aside, this is an incredible episode, and Paul’s second favorite of the entire series.

The original core members of the show get together for a restful night of movie watching after a long day of stopping supreme evil. They all fall asleep and, as an effect from the spell they cast to defeat Adam, are visited by the spirit of the First Slayer as they are each forced to confront their individual fears. The dreams that Willow, Xander, Giles, and Buffy have are simultaneously frightening, surreal, depressing, humorous, prophetic, and nonsensical. The episode is so multifaceted and loaded with symbolism that it’s impossible to completely analyze here. So, as we are wont to do when encountered with things of this nature, we’re just going to make a list of some of our favorite “Restless” moments:

-BUFFY: Oh my god, the place is packed. Everybody's here. Your whole family is in the front row, and they look really angry!
-Sexy Joyce coming on to Xander and Forgotten Joyce living in the walls with mice.
-ANYA: I think I've figured out how to steer by gesturing emphatically.
-Black and White Spike posing for tourists
-GILES: Come on, put your back into it! A watcher scoffs at gravity.
-ANYA (to Xander): Do you know where you're going?
-SNYDER (to Xander): Where are you heading?
-The Cheese Man.
-TARA: We just think you’re really interesting.
-ANYA: Quiet! You’ll miss the humorous conclusion.
-Surgeon General Riley and Human Adam making a pillow fort to hide from demons.
-Giles figuring out what’s going on in song.
-BUFFY: What are you still doing in costume… Willow, everybody already knows. Take it off.
-GILES: Buffy, you have a sacred birthright to protect mankind. Don't stick out your elbow.

Overheard in the Office: Last Small Town Edition

Well, we made the big move, and in doing so closed a chapter in both our real lives and the blog. Lots more to come about the parties, the good byes, the overall silliness of departing from our much beloved and much maligned former workplace. The rose colored glasses of nostalgia may start creeping on, but thank goodness we have a record, here on the everlasting internet, every time we need to remind ourselves just...you know...it was its own set of trials working there.

So without further ado, the finale:

About Paul and ferrets: ”You tell him ‘you just have to get used to it!’ While he’s watching tv sometime you should pick one up and sneak up on him and plop it in his lap! It’s fun to tease him sometimes, he’s always off guard!”
   -Spacey Secretary

“Is Paul going to share the apartment with you for awhile until he figures out what he’s going to do?”
   -Spacey Secretary

“She just couldn’t keep her hands off things!”
   -Faded Hippie

“Oh wow, how did it get to be the end of the day already?”
   -Faded Hippie

Um, I don’t know, because you’ve been chatting with people since 1:30?

“No Paul!?”
   -Faded Hippie to a lonely Anya sitting at the desk

“She is pretty cute; I’d want to spend my break with her too!”
   -Troubled Temp

“Do you ever take your kids to the pediatric urgent care? Both of my doctors are on vacation”
   -Spent Supervisor
“No, my kids don’t really get sick”
   -Big Boss

BECAUSE I MADE A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL AND WE EAT ORGANIC SHIT MIXED WITH BREAST MILK, ALL FIVE OF US

“I always say I would have been a great wife and mother because I would pass all of these skills down, but I’m just waiting for Atticus Finch.”
   -No Boundaries

“So I went out with him to do all of these hives and the bees just crawl all the way up your arms but don’t sting you, and I was like, ‘This is heaven!’”
   -No Boundaries

One? Adorable. A swarm?

“Well, usually I would never make note of it, but he was African-American...”
   -No Boundaries

“Sometimes we get Arabs in here.”
   -No Boundaries

“I don’t look Asian anymore, but the doctors called me a mongoloid when I was born. Of course that was also what they called Down syndrome babies back then.”
   -No Boundaries

This picture might be offensive if she hadn’t insisted repeatedly that she’s a direct descendant

“Good Morning, thank-”
   -Paul/Anya/Soul Sister
“-Just No Boundaries!”
   -No Boundaries

“And I talked to a group of German students about World War II, and it really just brought them to tears. They feel so guilty! And you know, it wasn’t even them or even their parents that did it.”
   -No Boundaries

“Can you get out so I can finish?” (This honestly took place in the BATHROOM AT WORK)
   -No Boundaries

“At the time, I was dating this bartender/other bartender/Scot/midget/sex fiend/coworker...”
   -Overzealous Hire

“Don’t you think it’s discrimination that teachers don’t have to pay but homeschool parents do?”
   -Homeschool bitch on the phone
“Um, no.”
   -Anya

“I would kill for that tractor!”
   -High Schooler

Overheard in the Office VI

It is time to once again visit the sticky wicket that is our workplace. We are counting down the days, fielding the rude and bizarre questions, and grimacing through the heaps of unwelcome “advice.” We’re pretty sure that we can make to our last day without completely losing our shit on an unsuspecting co-worker, but our pool of patience is rapidly draining. Luckily for you, our pool of office oddities knows no bounds.

Luckily for us, nobody at the office has ever been able to see through our fake smiles.

“They actually do make over-the-counter vertigo medicine. Would you like me to go grab mine?”
    -Frazzled Feminist

“My sister and I went hooking last weekend, we’re first time hookers!”
    -No Boundaries

If you only knew how many times we’ve heard some version of this REALLY FUNNY joke.

“You know, my husband used to live in New City when he was in the army and (whispered) he was the only white person on the street, but they were all nice to him, it was fine! They all like him.”
    -Spacey Secretary

“I have a funny girls story, want to hear it?”
    -That Guy

“And that was the first time I showed him my christmas tree.”
    -Edge of Retirement

“It looks a lot worse than it actually is, I just only keep giant bandages at home because that’s what I usually need.”
    -Overzealous Hire

“Oh wow, that haircut looks really good on you! It kind of reminds me of my brother’s from the ‘70s and he used to be quite the looker!”
    -Faded Hippie

“You’re not going to hire that girl who brought her mom along for her interview, are you?”
    -Paul
“Well, we’ll see if anybody else passes their drug tests.”
    -Spent Supervisor

At least we’ll be gone before the inevitable psychological breakdown.

“I’m just gonna check out some of the kids out here if that’s ok.”
    -Random Creeper
“Uhh...”
    -Anya
“Oh, sorry, my daughter’s here?”
    -Random Creeper

“And then the they sent me the Mormon bible, with gold leaf pages and my name embossed on the cover, and you know, I felt spiritually raped!”
    -No Boundaries

They can’t all come in the form of Emma Thompson.

Texts from this Year Part 2: Anya Redecorates

By this time you should have a pretty good idea of what to expect from our one-sided textual recap (golden moments of reality tv, the low bar set by our co-workers, and the ongoing power struggle between Anya and her mother). What’s noteworthy here is that this series of texts takes place during the month where Anya got her shit together (at least in one significant area of her life). Keep your eyes peeled for a tonal shift as we move forward, but don’t hold your breath for a pile of positivity (it still only comes in pops).

Tuesday, February 26  8:08pm
“it will be hot for him under the sun, yet he can’t go naked because of his alopecia” Lisa on giggy. And this is why I love her
Her fucking pomeranian has selective alopecia

Tuesday, February 26   8:11pm
They’re going to visit her stepson, who is now married to her friend, in San tropez. Context only improves it lol

Wednesday, February 27  6:01pm
You should ask him how getting his books published is going. “Couldn’t you at least get an ebook deal? No? Oof...”

Saturday, March 2  11:27am
My mother has lost what remained of her mind.

“No wire hangers, ever!”

Monday, March 4  6:36pm
Just saw a bumper sticker that says stop abortion now with the stop in a circle with a line through it. I can’t decide if I want to key it or not. You win this round, person with strong, but indeterminate abortion feelings!

Monday, March 4  6:37pm
On second thought, only the anti choicers would have such a stupid fucking bumper sticker.

Thursday, March 7  8:38pm
Also, is it ok that I’m plotting a bedroom with a fuckload of bookshelves but none directly over my head because I’m certain that my vigorous future love life will inevitably tumble them onto my head and I don’t want to be concussed by Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows?

Saturday, March 9  10:31am
“expectations are premeditated disappointments” maybe that should have been our tag line

Saturday, March 9  11:09am
I mean this is supposed to be our for real last house so I can do whatever I want. Maybe staple Ivy to the walls and call it Secret Garden

Maybe skipping the rope swing of death. And the ghosts. And the cholera.

Sunday, March 10  2:39pm
Ahaha my mother HATES my room idea. That’s how I know it’s great

Sunday, March 10  6:21pm
Yup haha. Girlfriend, go visit the gym you fucking “own”!

Monday, March 11  6:31pm
Yeah I feel you. I’m resisting the seductive powers of crazy bread, it’s a challenge

Tuesday, March 12  9:06pm
Paul. Paul. Watching the dance moms explain don’t ask don’t tell, glorious

Bring ‘em back down to earth, Holly.

Wednesday, March 13  8:31pm
I need a catchy phrase for when reality television stars give a medical lecture as if they’re qualified to explain it

Wednesday, March 13  9:28pm
Now Kimmy is pretending to be an expert on private investigating. Realllly need a snappy phrase for this. celecturing? Celebrity lecturing? Ughh I need seamless blending. Like celebutante.

Thursday, March 14  10:15am
Also, Frazzled Feminist today: “sometimes I really loathe my job”

Thursday, March 14  12:04pm
Here’s to hoping I never reach a weight where people getting between me and my lunch hour is a joke rather than a reflection on their lack of consideration

Thursday, March 14  1:11pm
The number of times I have used my sneezes as a form of vengeful chemical warfare is frankly kind of disturbing

Also: saliva and pink eye discharge.

Thursday, March 14  1:26pm
Yes. I picture some evil person in another department tracking our internet movements and just blocking things as we go to them. Or Grouchy Co-worker specifically requested it.

Thursday, March 14  8:37pm
Icy hot packaging says I can wear one for up to 8 hours and no more than 3 times a day. I could be wearing it every waking hour and then some! Can I do my whole back like a mummy?

Thursday, March 14  8:54pm
But it ALL HURTS. What if I ask That Guy to apply them?

Thursday, March 14  8:56pm
Haha then the mummy back is ok?

Thursday, March 14  8:57pm
Or I could ask him to remove the one I just can’t quite reach...

KEEP IT.

Overheard in the Office V

We once again visit our always-increasing pool of typically absurd office quotes. Summer at the office has less members of the general public present, which is good, and also has a lot of our co-workers taking advantage of their salaried positions with unsanctioned constitutionals (that we know are not being taken out of their annual leaves), which is not great. All we can we do is laugh at their towering levels of delusional and count our (hopefully) numbered days.

“Sometimes I'm saying something really pedantic and then I realize I'm totally wrong!"
   -Faded Hippie

On a trip to Vegas:

“Well, I wasn’t propositioned once, but I guess I just wasn’t their type.”
   -That Guy
“Were you expecting that?!”
   -Other Co-worker

“I was the only one who had been there, so I was like the unofficial leader of the group...which I wasn’t too pleased with.”
   -That Guy

“Yeah, this weather is really flooding my backyard! My ornamental fish pond is filled to the brim!”
   -Faded Hippie

We snark, but it probably looks like this.

“Well she was taking care of her dying parents and I was taking care of my dying parents, so we didn’t see each other much.”
   -No Boundaries

Shoulda made like the Buckets and just shoved them all together.

“In my day, we called those fornicators’ pants!”
   -Grizzled and Confused

“You may speak with my supervisor, but that’s against our policy and she will tell you the exact same thing.”
   -Paul
“Spent Supervisor, [unreasonable request]”
    -Customer
“Eh... We can do that.”
   -Spent Supervisor

“I always say, if my sisters die before me, the family tree ends with me! It’s just so sad I never found anyone good enough for me.”
   -No Boundaries

“It sucks being deaf!”
   -Troubled Temp (Note: she is not deaf)

Oh bitch, you don’t know the half of it.

And let’s end this edition of Overheard in the Office with this the one gem in all of this crazy that we can actually get behind:

“Tomorrow night, I’m going to have a drink and a smoke and cause some mischief!”
   -Edge of Retirement

We hear you, girlfriend.

Texts From This Year Part 1: Anya Is Never Getting Married

Once again, welcome to this creepy portal straight into Anya’s brain, now in 2013! Besties that we are, she often fires off missives to Paul that get at the especially ridiculous, weird, and inane shit that pops into her heard (Anya’s spelling. I’m unsure if it’s a typo or a new word to describe the ever-confusing combination of one’s head and heart, that extra “r” was an accident, but now it’s staying), and we’ve collected the highlights here for you. Catch up on past editions of this particular series here, and enjoy a journey through the last few years of pop culture, family drama, and outrage that are the running themes of our correspondence.

This edition runs the gamut from TLC’s descent into madness, to our co-workers descent into madness, to our descent into madness. So really a wide range! Enjoy, until the next installment:

Wednesday, January 2  7:13pm
Hahaha I’ll do a dramatic rendition of any quotes you bring back next time we’re at the bar. Soul Sister lost her shit about the 9/11 one. “Well my eighth grade class was supposed to go to New York for our trip but somebody had to go and ruin it for us!” “You mean terrorists?”

Sunday, January 6  12:03pm
Love of my life, light of my world, why hast thou deserted me?

Wednesday January 9  6:22pm
Thinking about getting out of sweatpants is soooo hard

Tuesday, January 15  10:25pm
Oh god extreme cougar wives is the greatest

The handfasting ceremony is what really did me in.

Tuesday, January 15  10:36pm
I would go so far as to say this is where TLC crossed the line

Thursday, January 17  6:21pm
I need to make a body cast of me now to remember how hot I was

Friday, January 18  5:41pm
I mean, Tel Aviv, right? That way if one of us is disappointed we’ll easily be able to find a #yolo Jew to fuck

Sunday, January 20  11:57am
Ugh my mom is already arguing with me about inviting the cousins to my wedding and then said “well let’s not even talk about it, it’s not like you even have one in the offing”

Thursday, January 24  10:16pm
When are we watching prosecuting Casey Anthony on lifetime?

Saturday, January 26  1:03pm
Yeah I figured that would be best. I hope Paul and Paul are actually there to amuse us with their complete lack of pretension (Oddly, these neither of these are *our* Paul, they’re the gentleman owners of a local wine bar that makes a big fuss about how COMPLETELY UNPRETENTIOUS it is. NO WINE SNOBS HERE, FOLKS)

Sunday, January 27  9:46pm
Most harrowing snow/sleet infested drive ever. Ever. I was about to call you with my last will and testament.

Sunday, January 27  9:54pm
Guess I should write that letter now that I’ve had a near death experience

Sunday, January 27  10:15pm
Single ladies dance?! You go you 65 year old minx

Sunday, January 27  10:16pm
Talk about vertigo

Wednesday, February 13  6:13pm
Teary about the friend zone. Just kill me.

Thursday, February 21 10  10:53am
Highlights: 2 hours and 20 minutes long. Big Boss uses the Internet in front of us and uses the word “sexy”. Frazzled Feminist tries to give a presentation. Faded Hippie expresses her extreme skepticism about all of it with facial expressions. That Guy claims Project A as his great achievement of the year, I claim implementing it as mine, unintentionally shame him while provoking laughter from everyone else.

Extreme skepticism.

Thursday, February 21  11:21am
Aaand Frazzled Feminist just dropped a 50 shades of grey reference. And Edge of Retirement is wearing her fighting cock brooch.

Thursday, February 21  10:14pm
“whose dog is that where the lips are falling off?”

Sunday, February 24  7:19pm
Anne Hathaway what in the fuck. Are those nipples or seams?

Honestly, Annie, get it together.

Monday, February 25  5:47pm
Haha if you give a mouse the benefit of the doubt

Monday, February 25  5:50pm
Eating my leftovers all alone now because my family is slugs

Top 6 Looks from Mad Men S6 E11: Favors

That had to have been one of the saddest Mad Men moments ever. Earlier in the season, we had a sinking suspicion that Don and Sylvia were going to caught, only we were sure that it was going to be a dramatic encounter with either Megan or Arnold. We figured we were wrong, once the affair “ended,” and went about our days theorizing character deaths and sexualities. The room was thus filled with gasps when the adulterous reunion of Don and Sylvia was discovered by poor goddamn Sally Draper, who is old enough to know what’s happening, but not old enough to deal with it (Does that age exist?).

This episode, transparently titled “Favors,” wasn’t so much about the actual acts of favors (although there were a lot of them), as it was about the roles that people play and the motivations and numerous expectations that go along with them. We might be able to easily answer the question of what makes someone a good friend or parent or co-worker, but it becomes a bit more complicated when we try to occupy multiple roles at the same time, especially when two or more of them are in direct conflict with each other. Don occupies the most complex position when he is looking for assistance from his work partners and clients because he is trying to help his wife help their neighbor-friends (one of whom is an ex-lover) with their child, colossally letting down his own daughter after getting caught rekindling his affair. You know, typical simplistic Mad Men storyline.

Ted and his bland wife are having marital problems (surprise...), but Ted steps up to the plate and realizes that while he’s being a great ad man and boss, chumming around with Pete and Peggy and buying them so many drinks they have a sincere moment...he’s letting things go at home. Whether he enjoys it or not, we see him go home at the end of the episode to be an actual, functional father to his children (although he pointedly does not wake up his sleeping wife for family time).

Quotes:

• PEGGY: Did she go to China for that tea?
• SALLY: You hate that Daddy supports my dreams. He doesn’t think I’m just a pain in the ass!
  BETTY: Your father is a hero! (double ouch, given how the episode ends)
• PETE: And he’s in love with you too.
  PEGGY: You’re the one who’s in love with him!
• TED: Imagine if every time Ginger Rogers jumped in the air, Fred Astaire punched her in the face.
• DOROTHY: I suppose there’s a way I could mistake your tone for concern.
• PEGGY: Oh! Why didn’t you say so? You can bring her!
• TED: Don’t be an asshole, Don.

Top Looks of the evening:

6. Manolo’s Swishy Suit n Stash

Manolo was a welcome addition to an otherwise incredibly depressing episode this week. Anya really enjoyed this nurse/boyfriend from his first appearance in an all white ensemble paired with a perfectly brushed stache. Manolo upped his game for a night out with poor old Mrs. Campbell, with a silk cravat and lovely pocket square. If we weren’t sure how Bob Benson ran into him before, we are now! Watching Pete gratefully tip Manolo off the books, while Peggy learns of his mother’s...infatuation...was perfection. Watching Mrs. Campbell confront her son was much less entertaining. Another ouch moment in an already painful episode, especially when she forgot her purse. Couldn’t resist capturing Mrs. Campbell’s bedazzled old lady take on Wendy’s fly away to Neverland nightgown, which Anya thought was great (in a terrible way) from hat to toe.

5. Julie’s Great Friend Greens

Who didn’t have a junior high friend like Julie growing up? While Serious Sally is quizzing herself in the cab on the way to Model UN, Julie wistfully stares out the window thinking about Mitch’s hair. Not that Sally doesn’t care about boys, she just has room in her brain for all kinds of knowledge, unlike Jules, who doesn’t know a thing about Eleanor Roosevelt. Julie thinks that she’s being a good friend when she signs Sally’s name on their sleepover list of things the like about Mitch and slides it under their door (or maybe she’s just being a bitch, but we’re not sure that she’s crafty enough for that). Regardless of her intentions and helpfulness, Julie certainly turns it out in her accessorized-to-a-T Model UN outfit. She may only be going for, as Betty put it, “another excuse to make out,” (Sexpert Julie has been to second base twice!) but her fun and girlish floral-printed dress is undeniably adorable. Poor yourself a glass, Julie. We're sure you earned it after a grueling day of pretending that you gave a shit about international politics.

4. Peggy’s Cat-Lady-in-Training Outfit

Girl. This is a surprisingly great outfit, despite its title, but Peggy had a rough week this week. We knew that fucking rat in her apartment couldn’t be a good omen, and when she came back to a trail of blood, Anya shouted “tell me when it’s over!” and hid her face. This reaction felt justified when Peggy, another strong feminist, called Stan in the middle of the night to kill the dying rat under the couch. We all have our weak spots. It was a little heartbreaking to watch Pegs put on her sexy voice, only to learn that Stan has another girl in his bed, one he shockingly won’t bring over for a rat killing expedition. When Peggy’s attempt to find a man to save the day falls through, she does what many women have done before and since...she gets a cat. At least Peggy’s problem can be solved by the cat’s prey drive, and not by its companionship skills. We like that she clearly wore this outfit to work, and isn’t just sitting on the couch with the cat in a housedress. The jacket is snappy, the pattern is sharp, and we love the buttons and the fit. Peggy has found her style, and we like it!

3. Sally’s Affair to Remember Attire

Poor. Sally. No one had a great time on Mad Men this week, but Sally probably got the worst of it. From our glimpse of her dealing with newly svelte Betty to her traumatic experience breaking into the Rosen’s apartment, Sally is set up to be a truly damaged child (as if she wasn’t already by the Draper parenting style). She looks like such a schoolgirl, and the dress really emphasizes how young she is. The thick, bright red stripe down the center is striking, especially because Julie’s outfit has a similar pattern...but her stripe is white. From the dialogue, it seems like Julie is (or wants to be) the more worldly and experienced teenager, but it’s clear that Sally has more experience with the adult world than she ever wanted, despite never having been to second base.

We’ve seen Sally glammed up, with her miniskirt and go go boots, getting her first period, trying out more adult hairstyles, but this outfit takes us back to baby Sally who so desperately wants her parents’ approval. Down to the knee socks and plaid, this outfit is perfect for revealing to us that even though Sally oftens speaks precociously, she is not at all ready for what she sees when she looks through that doorway in the Rosens’ apartment. Sidenote: HAVEN’T YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF CLOSING THE GODDAMN DOOR? They’re almost lucky it was Sally that walked in, since they clearly don’t care about damaging their children’s psyches.

2. Pete’s Peacock Plumage

Pete looked unusually nice in his gray three piece suit. The tie and pocket square are a nice color on him (bringing out his one remaining attractive feature, his eyes), and for some reason it kind of gave us bird vibes. Dove gray? Peacock blue? Besides, we can’t say no to some alliteration. When Bob popped cheerfully into the office thinking he and Pete were going to lunch, we knew things were going downhill fast for him. We picked up on the fact that Bob was being less than honest about how he knew this fabulous nurse, since he told Ken his dad died when he was explaining the delivery to Roger’s mother’s funeral. We did not expect Bob to basically come out to Pete in the middle of a Monday morning.

Pete seems like the LAST person you would want to confide in, not least because he’s an insensitive shmuck. It was almost touching, but again, mostly sad to watch Bob try to explain “true love” to Pete of all people. He took is about as well as could be expected, with a “tell him it’s disgusting!”, but he let the knee touch linger than we would have guessed. It’s clear that Pete is very lonely, and enjoys flattery in any form. We doubt Bob has actual feelings for Pete (Well, who the fuck knows with that squirrelly suck-up), but he’s a shrewd dude, and we were honestly surprised that Bob took a chance saying any of it. Maybe he just couldn’t resist the suit!

1. Peggy’s Personification of “Brains, Beauty, and Ambition”

Peggy nabs the top spot in our countdown this week, with a green and black look. We just can’t get enough of Peggy’s work clothes lately, girlfriend is nailing it. We loved the dark trim against the green, and the reappearance of what we’re calling “the funeral hat”. She wore the suit in two extremely different environments this week, and it served her well. Coming out of a meeting where she clearly just presented, Peggy looks like she belongs in the room with the big boys in her tailored jacket and skirt. She is formal and put together when she is forced into babysitting Pete’s mother and enduring an incredibly awkward conversation. We grimaced all over the place when we realized that Peggy didn’t really have a handle on just how bad Mrs. Campbell’s condition is, and when she brought up the child they had together... it was tough to watch.

That painful conversation fell by the wayside later in the episode, and we’re just hoping Peggy wasn’t drinking to excess because of it.  We see the suit sans jacket while she’s having dinner (but mostly drinking) with Pete and Ted. With the jacket off, it was a cute sleeveless number, and she looked very comfortable in her role as “beauty, brains and ambition”. It was nice to see her relax and let go, and have an honest conversation with Pete. The two of them actually bonded! While it was happening, we were just waiting for Pete to lose his shit when Peggy mentioned what his mother said, but it ended in the two of them genuinely giggling! Might be the nicest moment in the episode.

Overheard in the Office IV

We (along with the rest of the internet) have been having a bit of a rough week after Sunday’s “The Rains of Castamere” Game of Thrones episode, despite being as prepared as we could have been for it. Thankfully, our office cohorts are as delusional and/or amusing as ever. We hope that in celebrating their numerous... quirks, we can do our small part in bringing you all back from the brink of despair.

“But what about ice cream?! Or cheese!?”
    -Spacey Secretary (on the Paleo diet)

“It’s still bad to be Russian, after the Cold War.”

    -No Boundaries

“Give me yucky weather and I can get here on time!”

    -Faded Hippie

“My family is going there for dinner tonight, you’re more than welcome to come if you want. Haha! But really...”

    -That Guy

"I have done very little professionally since getting this job and having my daughter, I'd like to get back into it."

    -Frazzled Feminist (whose daughter is 2)

“Wouldn't it be funny if you, me, and Anya all left at the same time? This place would just fall apart!”

    -Spent Supervisor

“Are you married? Do you have health insurance?”

    -Troubled Temp

"Can I get a snack?"

    -Child

"I don't know, do you have money?"

    -Mom

"Mommmmmm!"

    -Child

Channeling mother of the year, Betty Francis.

“Sorry that I’m running late today, the rehab center by my house burned down.”

    -Overzealous Hire

“I don’t negotiate with terrorists.”

    -Married Guy (on unreasonable visitors)

“So was that a special someone or just a friend?”

    -No Boundaries

“...Just a friend.”

    -Paul

“Oh, that’s too bad! You know me, I’m always rooting for love.”

    -No Boundaries