Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Overheard in the Office: Last Small Town Edition

Well, we made the big move, and in doing so closed a chapter in both our real lives and the blog. Lots more to come about the parties, the good byes, the overall silliness of departing from our much beloved and much maligned former workplace. The rose colored glasses of nostalgia may start creeping on, but thank goodness we have a record, here on the everlasting internet, every time we need to remind ourselves just...you know...it was its own set of trials working there.

So without further ado, the finale:

About Paul and ferrets: ”You tell him ‘you just have to get used to it!’ While he’s watching tv sometime you should pick one up and sneak up on him and plop it in his lap! It’s fun to tease him sometimes, he’s always off guard!”
   -Spacey Secretary

“Is Paul going to share the apartment with you for awhile until he figures out what he’s going to do?”
   -Spacey Secretary

“She just couldn’t keep her hands off things!”
   -Faded Hippie

“Oh wow, how did it get to be the end of the day already?”
   -Faded Hippie

Um, I don’t know, because you’ve been chatting with people since 1:30?

“No Paul!?”
   -Faded Hippie to a lonely Anya sitting at the desk

“She is pretty cute; I’d want to spend my break with her too!”
   -Troubled Temp

“Do you ever take your kids to the pediatric urgent care? Both of my doctors are on vacation”
   -Spent Supervisor
“No, my kids don’t really get sick”
   -Big Boss


“I always say I would have been a great wife and mother because I would pass all of these skills down, but I’m just waiting for Atticus Finch.”
   -No Boundaries

“So I went out with him to do all of these hives and the bees just crawl all the way up your arms but don’t sting you, and I was like, ‘This is heaven!’”
   -No Boundaries

One? Adorable. A swarm?

“Well, usually I would never make note of it, but he was African-American...”
   -No Boundaries

“Sometimes we get Arabs in here.”
   -No Boundaries

“I don’t look Asian anymore, but the doctors called me a mongoloid when I was born. Of course that was also what they called Down syndrome babies back then.”
   -No Boundaries

This picture might be offensive if she hadn’t insisted repeatedly that she’s a direct descendant

“Good Morning, thank-”
   -Paul/Anya/Soul Sister
“-Just No Boundaries!”
   -No Boundaries

“And I talked to a group of German students about World War II, and it really just brought them to tears. They feel so guilty! And you know, it wasn’t even them or even their parents that did it.”
   -No Boundaries

“Can you get out so I can finish?” (This honestly took place in the BATHROOM AT WORK)
   -No Boundaries

“At the time, I was dating this bartender/other bartender/Scot/midget/sex fiend/coworker...”
   -Overzealous Hire

“Don’t you think it’s discrimination that teachers don’t have to pay but homeschool parents do?”
   -Homeschool bitch on the phone
“Um, no.”

“I would kill for that tractor!”
   -High Schooler


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