Overheard in the Office V

We once again visit our always-increasing pool of typically absurd office quotes. Summer at the office has less members of the general public present, which is good, and also has a lot of our co-workers taking advantage of their salaried positions with unsanctioned constitutionals (that we know are not being taken out of their annual leaves), which is not great. All we can we do is laugh at their towering levels of delusional and count our (hopefully) numbered days.

“Sometimes I'm saying something really pedantic and then I realize I'm totally wrong!"
   -Faded Hippie

On a trip to Vegas:

“Well, I wasn’t propositioned once, but I guess I just wasn’t their type.”
   -That Guy
“Were you expecting that?!”
   -Other Co-worker

“I was the only one who had been there, so I was like the unofficial leader of the group...which I wasn’t too pleased with.”
   -That Guy

“Yeah, this weather is really flooding my backyard! My ornamental fish pond is filled to the brim!”
   -Faded Hippie

We snark, but it probably looks like this.

“Well she was taking care of her dying parents and I was taking care of my dying parents, so we didn’t see each other much.”
   -No Boundaries

Shoulda made like the Buckets and just shoved them all together.

“In my day, we called those fornicators’ pants!”
   -Grizzled and Confused

“You may speak with my supervisor, but that’s against our policy and she will tell you the exact same thing.”
   -Paul
“Spent Supervisor, [unreasonable request]”
    -Customer
“Eh... We can do that.”
   -Spent Supervisor

“I always say, if my sisters die before me, the family tree ends with me! It’s just so sad I never found anyone good enough for me.”
   -No Boundaries

“It sucks being deaf!”
   -Troubled Temp (Note: she is not deaf)

Oh bitch, you don’t know the half of it.

And let’s end this edition of Overheard in the Office with this the one gem in all of this crazy that we can actually get behind:

“Tomorrow night, I’m going to have a drink and a smoke and cause some mischief!”
   -Edge of Retirement

We hear you, girlfriend.