Friday, May 3, 2013

Overheard in the Office III

It’s time again for our favorite pastime of “Can You Top That Crazy?” in which we take part every day, with all our co-workers, despite never having given our consent to play.  We’ve collected the results of this never-ending sport into a feature we call Overheard in the Office, to prove that the answer is always yes.  Take it away, frequent “winner,” No Boundaries!

“It’s okay, I can make black jokes; I’m Polish.”
   -No Boundaries

“You must think I just walk around all afternoon!”
   -Faded Hippie

“I wonder how my daughter will be when she gets older, My husband and I are just so awkward I wonder if she’ll get that too, and just be like ugh, romance!” *hand fluttering*
   -Frazzled Feminist
“Maybe she’ll be like me and just completely uninterested in boys until she’s 28.”
   -Overworked Co-worker

“I spent my junior year abroad in Frankfurt. I partied so hard over there, it was crazy.”

“I could talk about how to research the history of a house for an hour, blind!”
    -That Guy
“Yes, That Guy, blind people can talk too...?”

[on the elevator]
“How are you today?”
    -Edge of Retirement
“Oh fine, pretty busy so I’m tired”
“Well, it makes the day go by faster. Then the week. Then the month. Then the year. Then most of your life!”
    -Edge of Retirement
“Ha, yep, okay.”

“Do you want to borrow my Sister Wives book?”
   -Spent Supervisor

A classic.

"You have done exactly what I told you not to do three times today.  I don't like it.  I like you.  Very much.  But I am not happy.  With you."
   -A Mom on the Phone

“I've just been staying up late this entire week and I just kind of feel like a slug today”
“Yeah, this time change has totally thrown me off too.  And you know who it's been really rough on?  My cat.  He used to wake me up every morning at 4:30 for breakfast, and he's just been really confused and stressed out this week because now I'm getting up before him and he's not hungry yet and he's all, "Mom, it's still sleep time!"”
   -Cat Whisperer

Life is goddamn hard.

“When I worked in the steel factory...”
   -Ex-Employee, at least once a week

“I wish I had known about this tour before I decided to wear these shoes today!”
“Oh do you even do that? Nevermind, I don't want to know.”
    -That Guy

“Oh, he’s gay? My brother is gay. He always wants me to go to Boystown!”
   -That Guy

And we’ll let No Boundaries close today, with this gem:

“And when I got there, he was waiting for me with sex toys. I mean, there were some really sick things there.”
    -No Boundaries


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