Wednesday, July 24, 2013

A Surprising Pop of Positivity

If you read even semi-regularly, you know that we’re not the sunniest people in the entire world. You could generously assume that our devastating humor comes from a dark place, it’s a coping mechanism as we deal with our deep seated issues in a decently productive way. You could more realistically assume that we’re just pretty fucking jaded for twenty somethings, and blame it on our upbringing/the state of the economy/our codependent relationship. Pick your (our?) poison! Regardless of the reason, it’s true that we’re not often brimming with optimism and love for our fellow man. But it can be exhausting spending so much time wishing people were better, you know? And we sleep the troubled sleep of the hopeful, despite our insistence that we’ve thrown in the towel on Everyone Ever.

So here we are, two desperately underemployed and underutilized young adults stuck in a place that prohibits us from starting our Adult Lives and Careers and Establishing Independence and things like that. You know your life is fucked up when your greatest joy in a week is that the token Self Righteous Christian from high school got knocked up by a dude whose “job” is online poker. So we’re changing shit up. We’re moving away and starting new things, and we plan to worry about paying rent instead of when we’re going to get out of this dead end situation. It’s nice to focus on whether we should put on ten pounds as a buffer for the poverty diet we’re about to endure, or if we should just let said diet run its course, leaving us looking like city waifs instead of tourists.

So, in the spirit of new things and sharing personal shit with you, dear reader, today we’re going to send you things that make us happy. Things that pull us out of the depths of despair, or just make us chuckle. Use them wisely! (That means frequently and with vigor). And don’t get used to this happy tone! We’ll be back with snark on snark on snark on Friday. Probably.

The Sound of Music

If you hate this movie, you are a Nazi. That is all. “I hate musicals, it’s so long, blah blah blah” NO. This entire film is a work of art, Julie Andrews is a force of nature, you’re a fool. The dialogue! Her voice! That part where the Captain gets all choked up singing “Edelweiss” before they flee “ALL the way to SWITZERLAND?!”? It makes us happy from start to finish, even the sad parts. Watch it when you’re doing just fine, watch it when you’re melancholy, watch it when your life is in upheaval. And enjoy that goddamn goat puppet show like the child you are.

Anya probably spent her lifetime allotment of her mother’s patience listening to this song on repeat.

“If I fits, I sits”

The more we see, the funnier it gets.

Somewhere along the way, this phrase got lodged into our vernacular. Not typically purveyors of the millions of cat pictures and videos on the internet, Anya literally woke up one day and had this dumb phrase stuck in her head. Now, every time we need a completely out of context giggle, it sends us into hysteria, no pics needed. No explanation for this one, folks, but we hope it works for you too.

British accents

"I'm just like any other regular mum."

If you haven’t figured it out by now, we may or may not be extreme Anglophiles. What began as a childhood obsession with Julie Andrews (see above), has grown and expanded into an enchantment for all things British, beginning and ending with those glorious accents. We love every damn ridiculous one of them, from prim and proper Lady Mary to scruffy little Eliza Doolittle and all the absurd Gwyneth and Madonnas in between.


The Fruit Demon of Deliciousness

Honesty time: Anya is a frequent puker. And a marathon puker. Some would consider vomiting a desirable way to deal with stress (better than eating your way through like six cookies and a Taco Bell meal in twenty minutes), but it’s not GREAT. And the only food that she kept down after a particularly nasty fight with the Stress Demon of Upchuck guessed it, watermelon. Yes, watermelon has gotten us through some dark days...and you thought this one was going to be a paragraph extolling the vodka soaked virtues of a watermelon keg on a summer’s day, didn’t you? Sorry, not sorry.

Puppies (particularly of the corgi variety)


Goddamnit. Look at that thing. You can just imagine how long we spent scouring the internet for a pic of a Corgi puppy. “Wait, there’s a couch full!” “That one is SLEEPING!” “Look at this costume!” “HE’S WINKING” etc. etc. etc. When we see one in real life, we become dangerous. Like knees giving out, pray to god neither of us are driving, dangerous. See Anglophilia above, for a partial explanation.

Witty puns

“You're an ice cream sundae with a cherry on top, and careful, Cherry, 'cause I'm the king of pop.”

None of the entries on this list (except for perhaps the watermelon one) should come as much of a surprise to you, this one being no exception. We always appreciate a well-placed pun and perfectly executed one has the ability to knock us out of commission for an entire afternoon (See: “NUNAVUT” tweet). Admittedly, you could make the argument that this is almost always a self-congratulating circlejerk of us laughing hysterically at each other (or to each other at ourselves), but... can you really blame us?


We all have seasonal depression (we, the denizens of Not Florida or California), and a bright day cheers us right up. Sure, they’re not made to order, and sure, we have a fifteen to twenty degree difference in temperature preference, but that Vitamin D really does do wonders for our mood. Plus, WAY more corgis outside in the sunshine. Plus it’s watermelon season, plus we can do our over the top Spike and Dru British accents. Really tying it all together here!


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