Welcome back to a series that makes us laugh almost as much as it makes us cringe, the last of our 2012 collection. Thank goodness. Catch up on our dysfunction here, here, and here. Don’t be sad that this is the end of another’s year’s worth of nonsense...be happy because we never stop accruing insanely weird text messages, and we’re always willing to share them with you.
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| The only reason this doesn’t happen is because neither of us have a cat |
Judge if you must, but mostly appreciate the relationship we’ve cultivated, which not only allows but necessitates the following:
Monday, October 29 3:55pm
The Office quote of the decade “when you’re with someone, you put up with the things that make you lose respect for them, and THAT is love”
Thursday, November 1 6:16pm
Haha right? Anya’s Mom could just make a vest for Dog. They have dogs for people with autism, they HAVE to have one for me.
Haha right? Anya’s Mom could just make a vest for Dog. They have dogs for people with autism, they HAVE to have one for me.
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| He’d be more convincing than poor Justice |
Tuesday, November 13 2:15pm
Paul. Paul. I’m pretty sure I told Married Guy about my dog as a lobster costume idea and THEIR NEW BABY WAS A LOBSTER FOR HALLOWEEN! Oh, the feelings. The confusion. Almost weirder if I didn’t tell him.
Paul. Paul. I’m pretty sure I told Married Guy about my dog as a lobster costume idea and THEIR NEW BABY WAS A LOBSTER FOR HALLOWEEN! Oh, the feelings. The confusion. Almost weirder if I didn’t tell him.
Wednesday, November 14 9:42pm
I need to live tweet my reactions to Twilight, the movie, and the book.
I need to live tweet my reactions to Twilight, the movie, and the book.
Anya starts asking Paul a million questions and expressing her disgust
Wednesday, November 14, 9:47pm
Nope, I quit. Don’t want to ruin it. My fans need my true first reaction. I need that dragon dictation shit. Also, not sure I can confine myself to 160 characters.
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| This is exactly how it works in my mind. Only in some fab sixties clothes. |
Monday, November 19 11:37am
Ladybird Johnson had pet raccoons at the white house and everyone loved them!
Ladybird Johnson had pet raccoons at the white house and everyone loved them!
Thursday, November 22 1:13pm
Just got teary over a fucking folger’s commercial. Life is not good
Just got teary over a fucking folger’s commercial. Life is not good
Wednesday, November 28 7:10pm
I hope thankstaking and gamlumpagus is everything you wanted and more
I hope thankstaking and gamlumpagus is everything you wanted and more
Thursday, November 29 1:23pm
Maybe I should have a kid so I always have a built in excuse to call in to work and get four day weekends.
Maybe I should have a kid so I always have a built in excuse to call in to work and get four day weekends.
Friday, November 30 5:10pm
Totally picturing No Boundaries’ voice/tone/fervent head nodding that she does when she’s saying something super crazy and wants you to agree. Watching Soul Sister try to gently be like “well, I don’t think it’s really like that...” was priceless.
Thursday, December 6 10:52am
BITCH WE HATE GOT LAID OFF HOORAY
Totally picturing No Boundaries’ voice/tone/fervent head nodding that she does when she’s saying something super crazy and wants you to agree. Watching Soul Sister try to gently be like “well, I don’t think it’s really like that...” was priceless.
Thursday, December 6 10:52am
BITCH WE HATE GOT LAID OFF HOORAY
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| Making me feel glad that I’m not you |
Thursday, December 6 12:55pm
It’s hard to do nice things for you to make up for driving me everywhere when the people in my life are idiots and when you don’t eat! Haha food is my fav love currency
Friday, December 7 11:06am
No she’s staying for now? Idk I guess Faded Hippie has some over-the-counter meds for these things.
It’s hard to do nice things for you to make up for driving me everywhere when the people in my life are idiots and when you don’t eat! Haha food is my fav love currency
Friday, December 7 11:06am
No she’s staying for now? Idk I guess Faded Hippie has some over-the-counter meds for these things.
Friday, December 7 1:37pm
He’s just so fucking obnoxious AND his kids don’t like Harry Potter. I told him he was reading it wrong.
He’s just so fucking obnoxious AND his kids don’t like Harry Potter. I told him he was reading it wrong.
Friday, December 7 1:42pm
I mean, this is coming from a librarian who doesn’t like to read and loves burn notice, why am I even surprised?
I mean, this is coming from a librarian who doesn’t like to read and loves burn notice, why am I even surprised?
Thursday, December 13 2:38pm
Also, kombucha tea: What. The. Fuck. Can we try it? Dare we?
Also, kombucha tea: What. The. Fuck. Can we try it? Dare we?
Thursday, December 13 9:27pm
This is what happens when you leave me alone
This is what happens when you leave me alone
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| Because I’m chocolate Lab levels of pathetic |
Thursday, December 20 10:10am
Oh NO, No Boundaries hugged me! It’s over.
Friday, December 21 9:56am
Ummm That Guy invited me to lunch today
Oh NO, No Boundaries hugged me! It’s over.
Friday, December 21 9:56am
Ummm That Guy invited me to lunch today
Thursday, December 27 5:56pm
Your Anya Mom moment of the day: makes very clear her disappointment that something “made me so messed up” about children/pregnancy and then buys my tights and lipstick for NYE.
Thursday, December 27 8:50pm
Haha closest thing to a sext I’ll ever get
Your Anya Mom moment of the day: makes very clear her disappointment that something “made me so messed up” about children/pregnancy and then buys my tights and lipstick for NYE.
Thursday, December 27 8:50pm
Haha closest thing to a sext I’ll ever get
Friday, December 28 9:47pm
HOLY FUCK DID YOU KNOW THE EXTREMELY RELIGIOUS FAMILY IN OUR COMMUNITY’S MOM IS A LESBIAN?! AND IF YOU DID I AM SO ANGRY YOU DIDN’T TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOLY FUCK DID YOU KNOW THE EXTREMELY RELIGIOUS FAMILY IN OUR COMMUNITY’S MOM IS A LESBIAN?! AND IF YOU DID I AM SO ANGRY YOU DIDN’T TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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